Denmarkguy Musings: The FACTS Don't Care About Your Feelings!steemCreated with Sketch.

in psychology •  4 months ago 

These days, we seem to spend a lot of time discussing so-called "snowflakes" and people being deeply invested in their "sensitivities" and "feeling the feels," and all that good stuff.

It might surprise you to know that I could actually be considered one of aforesaid snowflakes, given that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and Sensory-Processing Sensitivity is very much a real thing for me.

Wild plum blossoms

My point here isn't to dismiss feelings or their importance as potential guideposts in our lives... my point is that people go overboard.

More specifically — as the title of this post spells out — getting mired down in a two-week long "emotional meltdown" over the fact that your landlord raised your rent $100 a month, isn't going to alter the fact that your landlord raised your rent and you'll have to deal with it, in some fashion.

Similarly, the fact that your brother has a nasty disposition and semi-bullies you every time you see each other isn't going to change simply because you engage in extensive and protracted hand-wringing every time you happen to meet at a family gathering.

I actually know someone who lives in Anchorage, Alaska and she misses no opportunity to whine extensively about how much she hates cold weather, and how "unfair" it is that it gets so cold in the winter... as if she somehow believes that her laments will make Anchorage have second thoughts and turn into Miami Beach, just for her benefit.

Just move to a warmer place!

"Yeah, but I can't just..."


Again, let me just reiterate, feelings are awesome, and feeling the feels is a perfectly reasonable thing to do!

What's NOT reasonable — and yet a lot of people seem to slip into this pattern — is sliding down a spiral of believing that if you just feel strongly enough that "things should be different, like you want them to be" somehow reality is going to "grow a heart" and comply wishes...

Ain't gonna happen.

Really, all I'm suggesting here, is to keep things in their proper perspective.

By all means, we encounter lots of aspects of life we don't like and truly feel horrible about... but you can't feel your way OUT of them, and if you choose to just sit around and pout rather than ACT on these things... you'll just be annoying to the people around you.

Facts are simply... FACTS. They may be super-unpleasant, but they just don't care how you feel about them...

Thanks for reading!

What do YOU think? Are there people in your life who get so mired down in how they FEEL about something that they forget to deal with the reality of that thing? DO you consider yourself an emotional, or not so emotional person? Do our feelings sometimes get in the way of our handling situations appropriately? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

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Created at 190507 14:59 PST


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What about the contradicting facts? Nobody ever stops to consider the feelings of the contradicting facts?!?

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I would argue that the term "snowflake" refers not to people with psychological issues, but to people with a pathological need to find something to whichbthey can take offense, especially on someone else's behalf, in order to achieve a moralistic self-righteous indignation. This is in contrast to OCD, PTSD, etc.

It's like how I would consider using the word "retard" only to describe someone who is so deliberately obtuse that they only converse in tired fallacies. They weren't born mentally disabled, they are dumb on purpose. I would never apply that term to my library patrons with autism, Down's syndrome, or other conditions beyond their control.

The biggest problem with resorting to terms like "snowflake" is being dismissed as a MAGA-hat neo-con Trump supporter. The left can't meme, but the right can't make labels work.

I'm an emotional person but don't think it's a good or a bad thing. It's just the way I roll. Yes, the last time emotions forced me to act a certain way was to try to buy some Steem a few minutes ago when it is rising. My bank declined the transaction. It must have been acted rationally, haha!

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