Just an identity crisis, nothing unusualsteemCreated with Sketch.

in psychology •  12 days ago

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Today I went to a small store in my home city to buy some food. In the store there's this one acquaintance of mine working there – not exactly a close friend of mine, but a nice person nonetheless who I've known for years already. It's been over two months since I've seen her the last time, for obvious reasons, because I was on the trip in Europe, away from home.

I go to the counter to get the bar codes of my few groceries read and I could've said something like "Hey, you're still here! Planning to go apply studying this spring?" (in a non-contemptuous manner), instead of the short version of "Hey."

You see, I've had a bit of an identity crisis. Or, the process of integrating past experiences to my current personality. And these experiences that I'm talking about happened on the period of my travels, during which the Steemfest 3 also took place.

So, what's going on in my head, is that I'm questioning whether I even am or ever was an introvert in the first place, or just an extrovert suffering from mental barriers. And well, it's quite easy to see why that is: Steemfest and traveling made me the most social I've ever been.

Now, of course, being an introvert doesn't mean one can't be social, because every person utilizes introversion and extroversion to varying degree.

But during the trip I enjoyed connecting with people so much that I never really felt tired from the interacting itself. I talked to bunch of random people (especially in Steemfest) and randomly made friends even on a buss going to Copenhagen. But then again, it just could be that among Steemians and travelers there's just simply a much higher concentration of awesome people. And to think about it more, I still don't talk with absolutely everyone, but kinda seek and "accidentally" get near those that I enjoy spending my time with. You know, as if I had a vibe sensors that I go around sensing people with (do I sound like a creep now?) and determining who I like. I wouldn't say first impression is always 100% accurate, but usually the people that I actually feel a pull to chat with end up being quite good company.

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But then, today I go to a store and only say "hey" to this person after not seeing her for a while. There's nothing wrong with it obviously, but it makes me wonder what is the real me and what's the course of actions I should be taking. Am I just being programmed by the culture and/or just used to being certain way at home, essentially being influenced by my surroundings? Is this just an aspect of me I'm manifesting, or just a malfunction in my personality that I would like to change? To what extent should I adopt or cherish the aspects I've observed in myself during the trip now back at home? Is it possible without the right setting and should I even do it in the first place? The answer to all these questions is: I don't know.

Gosh, how can one grocery store stop end up me with an extended pondering of my identity?

In any case, I think one thing is for certain: that I manage to (hopefully) become a more well-rounded personality.

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Interesting read. Sounds to me like you're undergoing some character development. Life, especially travel, would do that to you in a big way.

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Yeah, traveling does wonders.

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No kidding. Travel gives you permanent identity crisis hahaha. Or at least, it confuses you a little.

I'm like two different people wrapped up in one. I want to be home to build deep relationships with close friends and family, but I also want to constantly be on the road.

I'm content while settled, but also very very antsy to leave.

It gets confusing haha

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Dear, I think you're probably more than 2 people, more like 5 haha.

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hahaha. Actually, my MOM is 5 people, I'm only 3.

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I emphasize a lot what you said. The friends at home are great, but then again, all the amazing random encounters you can have on the road and the life at home that becomes a routine makes you want to leave.

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Hehehe - I love this post. Not laughing on your crisis of course, but it's recognizable. If you feel 'fine' with both sides of your character, there's not problem. If you love one waaaaay more than the other - well then it's time to come to a conclusion and make your life so that that one character can be there all the time.

Many people have more than 1 face I believe, but if it doesn't feel right than please make a run for it ;-)

As for meeting people who know only one side of you: they will have to adapt to you, not the other way around. Let them know you've grown and inspire them to get out of their comfort zone as well - The best things I remember from my life is when I did something 'totally me' and then heard someone refer to later as: "Thanks to you I did x or made decision y". It's humbling.

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Hey @soyrosa, thanks for a great comment. I don't really know what to do with these different "faces". I guess I'll have to do some more soul searching.

The best things I remember from my life is when I did something 'totally me' and then heard someone refer to later as: "Thanks to you I did x or made decision y". It's humbling.

I can see how being an inspiration for someone else can make the day.

Maybe it's just your home environment synching you back into old habits?

One tends to be more alert and pro active when travelling after all!

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Yeah, that's why I've thought that home isn't healthy for me.

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Today I went to a small store in my home city to buy some food<< Oh my gosh, you RAN OUT OF DRIED FRUIT?!?!

This was interesting...I enjoyed interacting with you on the trip, if it counts for anything!

But, I guess I always knew I'm an extrovert.

Maybe you're an ambivert...you can be either/or!

That's a real thing!

Maybe that helps solve your identity crisis?

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Oh my gosh, you RAN OUT OF DRIED FRUIT?!?!

Hahhaha, no I didn't, but dried fruit diet only gets boring after a while.

This was interesting...I enjoyed interacting with you on the trip, if it counts for anything!

I really enjoyed interacting with you, too! You're so full of energy! The kind that I enjoy.

Maybe you're an ambivert...you can be either/or!

Yeah, that crossed my mind. It could be. Or maybe I'm just an introvert who likes people... some of them, and wants to be with them. I don't know. Not sure why that would even matter. Why not just be? 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for dropping by @nomadicsoul!

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True, just be!

Evolution. You are progressing and evolving and improving. Not only that, you are studying your evolution and evaluating the results and changes.

What you will be by next steemfest will be a wonder to the you who had not been to steemfest yet.

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What you will be by next steemfest will be a wonder to the you who had not been to steemfest yet.

Oh yeah.

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