My Promo - Mentors Writing Challenge

This happened to me over a year ago. It is a funny experience but at that time it wasn't so funny. Please read on...

THE OFFER

The fear of being jobless is somewhat a common phenomenon especially in Nigeria, this is what prompted my constant job hunt discussions with one of my friends who was a guru when it came to job hunting. I was still a corper and i was about rounding up my service year. I had no job except for my constant writings on my blog , newspapers and other blogs. I knew I needed to job hunt before my service year ends as I had learnt from other people thst this is the nest way to avoid getting stranded. Anyway, I and this my friend got talking continuosly about job offers and resumes. This my friend is someone that can travel to the end of the world for job interviews or aptitude tests. When he mentioned KPMG, I wasn't too surprised. Reason is , somebody like him takes every opportunity, tries out everything but me... I usually weigh my options, the pros and cons before taking any step. Worse still i didn't like the idea of travelling to write exams for a job that wasn't certain.

A part of me wanted to apply, a part of me wanted to decline but after much persuasions and encouragement, I decided to take a cue from him and try, I started the application process. It was tedious, the tedious nature of the application got me wondering “on top wetin?’’ (why all this stress?). But then I just continued giving the benefit of doubt, I continued with the application process.

After some days I was able to submit my application in a manner which was to me haphazardly but who cared? after all I wasn’t banking on it. Lo and behold I got invited for the test surprisingly but my joy turned to worry and despair when I saw the venue. A place I totally didn’t know in Lagos Nigeria. What came to my mind was To go? or not to go?

THE JOURNEY

Eventually I made up my mind to go after so much encouragement and persuasions by my friend. I tried preparing for the test but my anxiety clouded my reasoning.

The D-day came and I went. I woke up very early in the morning and I set out, a part of me was eager , another had feelings of uncertainty at the same time my stomach kept rumbling, I had used the toilet twice that morning and felt I was ok. Did I mention that I had eaten vegetable soup the night before ? Yes, I had eaten my swallow as usual with vegetable, I never imagined it would affect me. Having used the toilet twice I felt nothing would make me feel the urge again at least for the few hours I was going to be out. So I went to the park and got in the bus to Lagos.

Hours after the rigorous journey to Lagos, I stepped into Oshodi Lagos, I don’t know whether it was the anxiety of the exam I was going to write or the fact that I had walked around in circles before locating where the venue was situated,or the vegetable soup still in action, but I started feeling a desperate urge to use the toilet.

The urge was so intense that if not for the fact that I had an examination to write for a stated time I would have found a toilet nearby to use. But I kept holding it, managing my condition as time wasn’t on my side.

THE EXAMINATION

I got to the venue and saw thousands of young job seekers, all with either a first class or a second class upper. I even saw friends I knew from my former university, we greeted each other well. I began to lose the remaining hope I had concerning the job seeing the population. We got on queue and I almost cried, I had to endure this queue and the serious rumbling in my stomach and the constant threatening explosion about to happen in my bumbum. By the time I was checked in to start the examination, sitted set at the computer about to start the e-exam, the excreta was set to come out of my buttocks.

_{picture snapped with smart phone}

I half listened to the instructions, I couldn’t hear a thing. I was sweating profusely inside the air-conditioned room. All that kept going through my mind was how to get to a toilet and use. I half read the questions before choosing answers, as I clicked on the answers I knew I had no hope in that examination except a miracle happened. I couldn’t take it any longer on getting to question number 27 out of 100 questions, I raised my hand and called the attention of one of the examiners. I told her I had to use the toilet, I understood the implications of doing that, I had to submit and walk out of the examination room when I had barely started.

I thought to myself, better to fail this examination than become an object of public ridicule so I insisted on leaving. The examiner looked at me with pity written all over her face, she saw the desperation and urgency in which I was in then she took my slip from me and led me to the female toilet.

RELIEVED

As I let out the waste that had threatened to disgrace me, I began to blame myself for all that had happened. As relieved as I was having used the toilet I felt disappointed, thinking I had messed up my opportunity. From the start, I had been skeptical about the job and the aptitude test, I had heard stories of very brilliant people who still failed the test.

As I made my way out of the building and straight to the car park to start my journey back home, several ‘’what ifs’’ kept coming to my mind. What if I had done this, what if I had done that.

In the end I concluded that, that was the way it was meant to be. Some minutes after in the bus on my way home, I got pings from some of my friends whom I had run into at the examination venue.

They gave me reports of how they had failed the examination honorably, who knew what the cut off mark was. The examination was such that you immediately see your score if you pass or fail once you submit.

It all boils down to the fact that job seeking in Nigeria is hard and these companies will try all sorts of discrepancies and cunningness to cut off job seekers and chose who they want.

So in the end I hadn’t really messed up per say, what if I had finished the exam truly and still failed, besides I had taken bold steps, registering, going for the examination and submitting in the examination hall when I did. Truly I learnt my lesson but I salute myself for making smart choices, this is one memorable experience I will never forget.