The CHARACTER of SILENCE
A little bit of contemplation was brought to mind today about a road recently traveled, and I thought I would just share my perspective on it. Considering the fact that I grew up surrounded by men, I have absolutely no issues "mustering an opinion", stating my case or "saying it like it is!" haha - and yes, there were MANY moments where I felt that URGE to "put the record straight" or throw facts in faces - but I never did, because honestly... it is seldom worth the energy! People will think what they want irrespective, so it made more sense to simply continue on my way - being ME! Much like Steve Maraboli said... “How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others."
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THE CHARACTER OF SILENCE...
We are all entitled to expression when it comes to social media (and any other circumstance in life) and in the “sharing of opinion and/or perspective” there are always two sides to the coin. There is what you share outwardly and then there is the response which you receive in return. When you share truth, fact, opinion or experience by way of your posts on social media – you are reaching and engaging with a lot of people simultaneously. It is highly unlikely that everybody is going to agree with what you have said – including occasions when the information is actually factual. Nine times out of ten, you will find that the majority of people will respond positively and will give feedback which supports such, is sensible and in line with what you have put forward… However, there are ALWAYS going to be those that will judge you, accuse you of lying, comment purely to try and get a negative rise out of you and those that just “don’t get” your message on ANY level at all!!!
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If you have made a decision to share something that is of value to you or is a truth you feel strongly about and which you are hoping will hold value to those that read it, then be prepared to stand firm in that approach. If you are going to share your words with thousands of people from all over the globe, then you need to be prepared to act maturely in all instances. Yes, you are entitled to share what you want and voice your opinion and perspective – and yes, the public are allowed to respond in whichever way they choose and there is absolutely nothing wrong with engaging with the people behind both the positive and negative remarks but the key, is NOT to bet embroiled in whatever negative feedback comes your way. In other words – do not let it get to you to a degree that you become equally unruly and negative. It is an absolute waste of your time and energy!
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People who approach you with such levels of immaturity, denial, bitterness or plain ugliness are unlikely to be positively responsive to anything you say– you will more often than not just end up in a ping pong match that leaves you feeling utterly frustrated and depleted! It can be difficult to just “walk away” from encounters like this, but it is normally the wisest decision to make. If you believe firmly in what it is that you have shared with the rest of the world, or you know it to be truth - then you can be open to the response of others, whether you agree with them or not, without feeling the need to repeatedly justify yourself. Now don’t get me wrong – I am not saying that you should be disregarding all response that you don’t agree with 100% or perhaps don’t understand. No, that kind of exchange and/debate "CAN BE" very healthy - what I AM saying is, you can be receptive, but don’t allow people to bully you to a point where you lose sight of what you stood for in the first place.
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“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson - Personally, when I am confronted with those that are clearly just out to “get ugly” or "save face" for their wrong-doing - I will offer them one level headed response and if they respond with further aggression or anything else unwarranted, I will always do my utmost so simply walk in the opposite direction. My energy is far better channeled into something constructive. When it's hurtful – walk away! When you know they are lying – walk away!When it makes you angry – walk away! When the comments are slandering or abusive – walk away! When you are being mocked or belittled – walk away! - As it is said... ‘You don’t have to attend every argument to which you are invited’ - true story, and a lesson I am VERY GRATEFUL to have learnt!
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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Yep, don't get sucked in to the energy vacuums that exist in this world.
Another analogy is to consider others as mirrors. The way they perceive your point of view is actually a reflection of where they are in their life. The more aggressive and negative they are, the more angry and negative they are about their own life and your point of view may just trigger the "release of their reflection".
The rule of 1 is fine as long as you consider the above. If their argument is well constructed and makes sense then a healthy debate that challenges ways of thinking and, potentially could lead to a better combined way of thinking, is a pretty awesome thing.
Anything else and it becomes a soul vortex.
Experience will help determine how far to deal with responses on our posts and the only way to do that is to actually make a post and see what happens 🙂
Anyway, great blog again and I think it's quite a current topic, myself included.
Great advice @jaynie
It's not always easy to follow that advice but great advice nonetheless.
The 20k delegation process was a good example of how some people just want to lower their standards at the first opportunity. It was quite disappointing to see fellow steemians (non PHC of course) acting in a volatile way.
I think that's why I was so impressed with @quillfire s engagement of certain people during that time. He was able to continue the conversation, and whilst initial facing the same barrage as others he disarmed his 'opponent' and actually extracted some reasonable comments from them. For most of us mere mortals, an impossible task.
For the rest of us it's about biting your lip and walking away, as you rightly described.
Cheers, Gaz
Posted using Partiko Android
@cheese4ead,
Thanks Cheese.
You'd be surprised at how potent "sustained reasonableness" can be. Most human beings, in my estimation about 85% of the population, are generally "reasonable." They may disagree about this thing or that, but not about the fundamentals of human behavior. No one likes a liar or a cheat. No one likes to be betrayed. Everyone treats their own children preferentially ... and no one blames them for doing it. There is a "core of humanity" upon which many seemingly unlikely relationships can be built.
Of the remaining 15%, 5% are simply crooks. There is nothing to be done with them except to try to isolate them and minimize their impact upon society as a whole.
More problematically is the last 10% who are ideologues of one kind or another. These are people who "want a thing to be true" so badly that they'll overlook even the most blatantly obvious evidence to the contrary. Indeed, any challenge to their Truth Claims is construed as an assault ... heresy and blasphemy.
Many pioneers of cryptocurrencies, including STEEM/Steemit, fit into this latter group. Their "Dream of Political Anarchy" (No Rulers, No Rules) is so strong that they are willing to jeopardize the very existence of the blockchains they've built, rather than accept moderating compromises for the sake of functionality. Alas, it is extremely difficult to get this latter group to agree to ... anything. It is only when the core 85%, the Silent Majority, are pushed to their limit that we will see the adoption of self-evidently required reforms ... and real growth.
Quill
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Yes, often there is no point in arguing... what is the point, if there is no way to come to agreement, then it is a pointless waste of energy and time.... neither will acknowledge the other as right, and so it is frustrating for all....
― Mark Twain
Well said, @jaynie, and as @nickyhavey says, so relevant on this platform right now. There are two inherent challenges in what you say. Perhaps more. One is resiliance (or more plainly: a thick skin). It takes time to learn that and it can be a hard an painful lesson when the barbs come thick and fast. For no apparent reason.
Second is having the courage of one's convictions, sticking to them and knowing when there is no shame in walking away. Some people don't have the maturity (perhaps never will) to agree to differ. We don't have to agree all the time and what is their truth may not be mine. Facts aside. They, too, are argued as you note. Evidence, smevidence in some people's minds.
What I don't get is people being personal and mean just for the sake of it.
Happy Sunday :D
Actually, I wrote a bit about this here https://steemit.com/dpoll/@fionasfavourites/prose-prayer-and-prey
That is so true - you can only be put down by someone if you allow them to do so - never let them get you down and be true to yourself - such great quotes - love your post :)
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”
― Jalal Ad-Din Rumi
I have to agree with this one
Love that!!
Life has too much negative, rather sit silent watching, be selective of the company you wish to keep, yes walk away from anything that does not sit well with you or the way you wish to live.
Excellent thought provoking piece, thanks Jaynie.
Oh gosh, I had needed this post like a few weeks ago and now that I have somehow mangled my way through that rough patch, I can say 100% that this post is absolute wisdom !
We must have enough fortitude to stand for what we believe in, and what we are passionate about ........ and we must also cultivate the ability to 'let the haters hate' for lack of more eloquent words. Engaging in negativity is terrible idea. Being assertive but civil is much better.
Thanks for the wonderful read :)