How to Make Your Very Own, Legally Binding Constitution
Today I had a revelation: You know what this community really needs in order to protect their freedoms? A Government! Run by me!
Well, Steemit, I am here to tell you that I am your ruler and I am your saviour, and I have the constitution to prove it!
I the person of Steemit,
in order to form a more perfect social network, establish JUSITCE, promote the general WELFARE, and secure the blessings of LIBERTY to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution.
In order to establish and protect your rights, I have been given special rights by God to tax you and kill you when necessary. ...or when I feel like it.
In order to secure your freedoms, I must rule over you.
Obey or else you will be kidnapped or killed.
There it is, folks: a legally binding constitution.
I am now your rightful king.
I will reign over you and your children and your children's children for as long as my line shall last. As such, you owe me 10% of all future Steemit rewards and a 5% back tax on all rewards before I claimed my throne. See, I'm a gentle ruler. I won't over-tax you because I'm a good guy. This is what good government looks like!
I expect to see deposits in my Steemit wallet every day by 7:00 PM EST or I will send my thugs royal guards to punish you enact justice.
How to make your own constitution:
Since I am a good and generous king, I'm going to tell you my secret; how I made this happen. This is the same tried and true recipe used by our illustrious founding fathers, so listen up!
Step 1: Write it down
This is the stage where you can get all your great leadership ideas in order.
Step 2: Give it some pomp and circumstance
What is government without image, show, and ceremony? Your constitution should reflect the self-importance that's necessary for government to function. Give it a little bit of life!
Step 3: Sprinkle it with magical fairy dust
This step is crucial! Without magic, no human being can possible gain the right to rule over another human being. This step is the difference between a worthless piece of paper and a binding law.
...But YOU can't make YOUR OWN constitution
I may have taught you how to do it, but it's too late. I already established my government. I am the ruler. If you try to establish your own government it will never be seen as legitimate because I was here first! Don't usurp my throne. I'll come after you.
Remember, you all owe me taxes at 7:00. Don't test me.
~Seth
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constitution to break. LOL
i should make mine also. lol
You can't! I am your king! There can be only one!
you are the greatest king, i am a great king under you. who will become the greatest king. 😃😃😎😎
How dare you.
please i am seeking your forgiveness.
remember to give me the throne when you step down. lol
The throne will stay in my bloodline, but if you prove your loyalty, you may be appointed court jester. It's an honourable position.
that would do for the moment. better than you slay my nect. your majesty. 😃
I declare myself a sovereign nation unto itself and if you attempt to employ force I will be required to enact the self-defense clause and may thereby legally injure, maim, or kill depending upon the level of force used in resistance to the establishing of my own sanctity.
Nice piece of satire ;)
Your nation is illegitimate. My soldiers will march on your lands and force you to succumb. History will see me as a hero who preserved the union.
Be wary of starting a multi-front war, I have many sovereign nations ready to defend from many angles. The word has already begun to spread through your armies and through your peoples and you may be seen as a weak leader should you expel a peaceful movement from your lands with force. Your people are our brothers and sisters, and after many years of oppression they have come to see our movement as necessary. Should you decide to commit an act of war on your own lands, on a peaceful movement comprised of your own people's relatives, I can gaurrentee a bloody and violent coup in immediate response which you will not be capable of defending against as it will come from the lowest to the greatest of ranks within.
I object.
😄😇😄
![@creatr](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWvzuqZ51DoiSjXXf8bukb7JeeVV1eAJJhGBkDiYc8ajj/creatr_ap.gif)
You wouldn't dare.