Coconuts and bananas

This is a coconuts and bananas poem dedicated to all the graffiti artists...

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

On a burnt-out wall full of white chairs
That was waiting
And seen through a window
Was the legend spray painted in bold red:
Come to god
They say
And pay your dues to be saved
And you'll get a free wife
And an apartment in the heaven of your dreams
Where your mother will be proud of you
And all you have to do is open your wallet
To get a front seat in heaven;
Come, look at these beautiful images
That will inspire you to give
And when you've given
You’ll get a certificate
That says you are one of the chosen few.
A little birdie was looking up at the wall
And thinking: “those humans are daft.
The woman called same again
Was in a good place for beer
And was drinking her fill
And so didn’t see the legend spray painted on the wall
And just as well
It wouldn’t have made any sense to her just then.
The flashback on the ground was a cry for more
With fifty percent bipolar
And the rest made up of a vice called real beer
And you’re going to hell.
Then again
Same again said: “I’ll drink anything,”
And so was given a blue lagoon
That broke her open
In a go for charity where we all will be saved.
The airline authorities were listening in to all of this
And so sent her a ticket for all she was worth
Which she accepted and so flew away
And was never seen again
And who would blame her for escaping in such a way.
God’s uncle, who was a Jehovah’s Witness
But not a very good one
Was out shopping in the local mall
When he bumped into God’s wife
“Hello,” he said.
“Hello,” said God’s wife.
“How’s the old man?” asked God’s uncle.
“Oh you know, grumpy as ever,” said God’s wife.
“He’s keeping you busy then?” said God’s uncle.
“Not so much, he’s getting on a bit now,” replied God’s wife.
“The Viagra department’s over there,” said God’s uncle
Pointing to the pharmacy
“Oh, in there, thanks so much
Must dash, see you,” said God’s wife
Dashing off to the pharmacy
“See you,” said God’s uncle
Who went off to find a corner
To watch the girls walking by
And narrowly missing the devil
Who was also out shopping for asbestos gloves.
And in the up above down below
Two escapees
Were still chewing their way to freedom up through the rock.
Beached on an island
Eight thousand miles above hell
Was the last remaining indecipherable
Who couldn’t get his credit card to work
No matter how many times he pushed it into the ATM machine
Until in the end the machine swallowed it out of spite.
A bottle floated up on the sand
With a message in it to come for tea
I’ve got bananas, bring coconuts.
Eric, the last remaining indecipherable
Put the note in his pocket and looked up.
Two coconuts fell down
And narrowly missed his head
And killing him
And so he felt his luck was on the change for the better
And gathered up the coconuts
And waded into the sea to swim to the next island
Which was nowhere in sight
But it might appear, he thought
If he just began swimming towards it.
His luck was in
And the whole universe conspired to help him out.
A storm blew up and moved the floating island towards him
And in no time at all
He was pulling himself out of the ocean onto the island
To find a bronzed and beautiful woman waiting for him.
He offered the bunch of coconuts to her
And with love at first sight they both set off
To populate the island soonest
And with all the coconuts and bananas
They lived forever more happy as happy could be.
“Can we have our money back please?” said the audience.
“What are you waiting for?” said the window to the wall.
“A club sandwich and a seat belt,” replied the wall.
“You may have a long wait,” said the window.
On the horizon, Mordee Ismidge could be seen
Running this way and that and
Carrying a suitcase full of money
A club sandwich and a seatbelt.
“Chew, chew, chew,” said the bird in Russian
It was a Russian bird and was eating bird seed.

Image from Pixabay