Adam and Eve in Paradox / Adam und Eva im Paradox [English/Deutsch]

in #poetry6 years ago (edited)

Dear friends,

after I'd recently put lots of energy in the translation of an english poem by Vincent Cavanaugh into German, I decided to also post an english translation of one of my german poems.

Paradox is one of the favorite poems, I ever wrote and I even created a song using the german lyrics with the help of the Songify app (that you can listen to when you scroll down).

The triptych below was made with one of my first iPhones and IMHO fits very well into the mould of the poem.

Liebe Freunde,

das folgende Gedicht habe ich hier bereits einmal auf Deutsch veröffentlicht. Da ich aber vor Kurzem ziemlich viel Energie in die Übersetzung eines Gedichtes von Vincent Cavanaugh vom Englischen ins Deutsche gesteckt habe, wollte ich es auch noch einmal andersherum probieren.
(Außerdem waren zum Zeitpunkt der Erstveröffentlichung viele von euch noch gar nicht hier.)

Paradox ist eines meiner Lieblingsgedichte und ich habe sogar eine Songify-Version daraus gemacht (die ihr weiter unten finden könnt).


tree_Fotor.jpg
"Treeptychon" - Original iPhonography

Adam and Eve in Paradox

How could we evolve
yet be standing still

and being
away

in the here and now?

Choosing both ways

while they
separate?

Fingers crossed

in honest
perjury

against
ourselves?

What if
the water

was
stale and grey?

Could it
nourish

the flowers
along the waterfront,

stroke fishes
with fresh ideas?

Where would the wind be,
if he fell in love,

the moon,

if he collapsed,
in melancholy?

And where would
we stand today,

if we didn't taste
the sweet fruit,

from the tree
of knowledge?

For sure,
we'd be happy,

-probably-

united,

but
barely

aware.

Adam und Eva im Paradox

Wie könnte es gehen
und dabei doch stehen

zu bleiben
und fort

zu sein
im Hier

während Wege
sich trennen

beide
zu gehen

die Finger
gekreuzt

in ehrlichem
Meineid

gegen
sich selbst ?

Was wenn
das Wasser

stünde
schal und grau ?

Könnte es dann
die Blumen

nähren
am Ufer

die Fische streicheln
mit frischem Geist ?

Wo wäre der Wind,
wenn er sich verliebte,

der Mond,

wenn er verfiele,
in Melancholie ?

Und wo
wären wir heute,

hätten wir nicht
gekostet die süße Frucht,

vom Baum
der Erkenntnis ?

Sicher,
wir wären glücklich,

-wahrscheinlich-
vereint,

doch wüßten
wir es

kaum.


Here is the songified german version:

Hier ist die deutsche Version als Song:



I'd be happy to read your feedback, especially when you find a mistake or imperfection.

Thanks for your attention!

I post art, photography and sometimes poetry.

Ich freue mich auf eurer Feedback, insbesondere wenn ihr Fehler findet oder Verbesserungsvorschläge habt.

Vielen Dank für eure Aufmerksamkeit!

Ich poste Kunst, Fotografie und manchmal auch Lyrik.


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Very fine poem, and nice that I can even enjoy it in its original form. Poems are always impossible to translate, you can only transform them into new poetry.

Glad you like it :-) You are right regarding the translation. It's an art on it's own and I really had a hard time with the poem of Vincent. But I like challenges like this and it gave me the inspiration to play with words again.

Gute Kunst ist mir immer einen 100% Upvote wert!

Vielen Dank! Das freut mich sehr :-)

i have no idea poem how to write but inspiration comes from reading.

Thanks, I really like to inspire ;-)

The story in details of the poem ,pretty nice and i do like the!
Nice indeed buddy !

Thanks, glad you like the!

great poetry,,,,,,,,
poetry is my favourite subject.....//////////

Thanks, I will try to post more poems then ;-)

welcome shortcut
good luck for you!!

Dein Gedicht gefällt mir.

Danke! Freut mich :-)

The poem translated sounded so sweet. ♡

Ahh, glad it did :-) Thanks for telling me!

You are welcome dear. ♡

Very nice! Both in German and English :) Unfortunately I am not able to upvote as voting power is down, but I really appreciate your work. Besides a few spelling mistakes, which everyone will forgive you for, it's perfect and funny enough in a weird way explains exactly how I feel right this moment! Thank you for sharing.

Thanks a lot for your feedback! I'm glad that it worked for you even in English. Would you mind telling me about the spelling mistakes? That would be awesome ;-)

How could we evolve, yet be standing still. Where would the wind be if he fell in love. If we didn't taste
That was all :)

Thanks so much, this is really helpfull :-) I will update the post accordingly! Have a great day/evening.

Schönes Gedicht. 😊 Auch die Songify-Version gefällt mit echt gut. 👍

Danke dir! Das freut mich :-)

Excellent work that was so good to read !!!

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