My Love, Cheers! - 100 Days of Poetry Challenge (Day 14)

in #poetry6 years ago

Good Evening Steemit Family,

It's been raining since morning. So, my imagination collected some thoughts of love and i tried to share those feelings with you guys! Rain and love are directly proportional to each others. When one gets speed other gets rhythm too. In this poem i tried to convey the love message of rain by imagining my soul mate :P :D


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My Love, Cheers!

Cheers my love, cheers,
It's drizzling of Spring , cheers!

Bring out your black umbrella,
Rejoice yourself with droplets of rain!

Rose and Jasmine are dancing with rain,
Affectionate fragrance, giving a soothing touch!

It's raining but you'r sleeping, wake-up,
Look at the cloudy sky, pouring the shower!

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After visiting the garden, i came to know,
Everything is busy, to offer the prayers!

You are sleeping but murmuring my love,
Rain is the best and life is beautiful !

Slight feeling of an incense, in your eyes,
Shows the warmth of my love, Cheers!


Source

This is my submission for Day 14 of the 100 Day Poetry Challenge organised by poet and artist, Daniel Pendergraft @d-pend

If you think that you have potential to share with the world then do take part in this wonderful contest 100 Day Poetry Challenge and feel free to join Steemit School discord

With Love,

~ Salman Bukhari

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Love belong to Nature . And Nature is beatiful and amazing . We can imagination about Nature same like love . Life need love . So we love each other same like nature love with us .
Thanks @salmanbukhari54 for sharing with us Lovelvy poetry .
Stay blessed and Steem on👈

Thanks a lot for the appreciation :)

Rejoice yourself with droplets of rain!
There are a few lines like this one in the poem that I think could be helped by some minor editing. I think you can take some words out of your poem and it would become more powerful. For instance in this line if you took out the word yourself you basically be saying the same thing but it'd be more powerful where is adding yourself in a way makes it kind of redundant because the reader can understand that you are talking about yourself without actually seeing the word.

Rose and Jasmine are dancing with rain,
This is another instance where a minor change can make it more powerful. If you said dance, instead of our dancing the impact of the imagery is intensified. Just something to think about. Try looking at word and taking out the ones that may be unnecessary. Great job.

Really wonderful suggestion and i highly appreciate it :)

No problem, I just read through my comment and have to apologize for all my mistakes. I was using voice to text and sent it without editing. Lol.

Hahahahahaha no problem at all

Really nice and romantic poem you composed, you do have a magical and creative touch with your composition and flare in poetry @salmanbukhari54

Aha, Thank you so much @obest for the wonderful words :)

is your poem beautiful, how nice to find your soulmate and dedicate so beautiful poetry @salmanbukhari54

Hahahaha Yeah :)

Love is a wonderful feeling, it gives us wings, helps overcome obstacles and distances, gives us strength and inspiration. Kissing under the sound of rain is an unforgettable feeling.

I also write poetry and sometimes about love. If you are interested, you can read one of my works
https://steemit.com/poetry/@spayder/evening-with-you

Greetings!! i enjoyed the light, airy feeling. You captured some great energy here. Blessings.

Very soothing words. It is good to read something light, especially about love.

Aha, You're welcome :)

Please vote back

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