This is a poetic, public service announcement.

Sexy is Perplexing

When I was single, men would come up to me... bolder than I remembered from dating before marriage.
Men of my 30s were much more flirty, sometimes overbearing.
I guess you have to be... fate favors the bold and that sort of thing.
I learned but before I learned, there were these moments of weird insecurity.

I realize now that this was all because... I think guys were hitting on me and I didn't see it.

If I could go back in time, I
I am not hearing what you think that I am hearing.
I don't know if I simply need to make things complicated or if this is just how I am...
First, my heart rushes and I get all twitterpated.
It's not too often that an intelligent person, such as yourself,
opens up and is so willing to take their feelings off the shelf.
The world is indeed a harsh place, forged with violence.
Let's bare our souls, show each other our scars and have a truly transparent heart to heart.
Now, struck with this proposition, I am in the dominant position to present a dialogue for discourse...

For a second, I am flushed.
(breathing in)
I hold my hand up, just as you lean in...
I am sorry, I need to interrupt before you speak because I need time to think...

It never occurred to me, as you ignore my finger, continuing to lean in closer...

"Whoa! Buddy!"

I chuckle, nervously.

We both kind of stand there awkwardly.

Silence.

Head shaking, mind jumping through a montage of confusion...
Then, as I sit there feeling all flustery, I realize how this all must seem.
How did I miss the diverted glances, as you check out my more feminine assets?
How did I ignore the clues that what you wanted to do was... less intellectual and more of a sexual kind of thing?
Is it really me, so outdated and this is the way that the world is supposed to be?

So I look up, him still standing there wondering what my problem is more than likely...

I have two options, it's isn't like I never thought about other people objectifying my body.
I too, have that animalistic urge to throw caution to the wind and get some action.
I just don't know how to satiate it by distracting it with lies that have already been considered in a broader sense.
Excuse me for not being comfortable...
I don't deny that we are all primitive, feral at the core...
I do declare though, I value civility more.

While it is partially a facade,
seeing through the filters of fantastic fiction,
created with our minds...
It's hard to go on when you're invisible, silent with no conviction.
For how can you stand up for anything when the only motivation you possess is
wrapped within a coil of permanent self-crucifixion?

Capable, culpable and ultimately this is all trivial.
Your lust is apparent, but apparently, the message that I received is subliminal.
I would if I could, sing your praises, read your body like it was a hymnal.
You've got to believe me, please.
Together, mingling mayhem and modesty towards the ultimate release.
Collaborating on countermeasures to -
prevent the stifling counter-culture open-minded normative.

Cleansing the soul takes more than absent-minded following the bible or Proclaiming -
there is a difference between seeing the signs of stigmata,
understanding end times, claiming to follow Christianity.
Sadly forgiveness falters from the divine.
Granted, "He", the man upstairs, tends to ignore when you're seeking recourse while gushing guttural profanities."
You can't fake it, there has to be actual piety.

And there, that was naked for me.
Not what you were probably hoping for,
or even expecting.
Needless to say, neither was I.
I'm too busy, wrapped in my own mind.
I can't see your perspective when I am so stuck in the clouds with mine.
The only thing that will get my attention is the divine.

Every now and then, someone can get through and it is the weirdest feeling.
Though by the time they get to this point, they want to talk and now I'm turned on.
Getting naked is weird when you take your clothes off and we're just trying to talk.
I guess that is why they say, "Timing is everything."

Thanks for Reading!

Images and artwork are the creation of RumDancer / Fantasma Creations 2018