SOURCE
I lay down in silent
Trying to escape from it all
From everything in my head, my thoughts is painful
I go out and get engage with others
I got busy with life, became a workaholic
I did everything to overthrown my worrie
Trauma, they do say I'm having a traumatic stress disorder
Those men in white, they are called doctors
They advised me to take some rest
And here I am laying down to rest
But it's more traumatic being here than getting myself all stressed out
I guess no matter how much I try it's going to be still here
I will always be traumatic
*My eyelids are close like someone deeply asleep but I'm very much awake.
I try to cover my face from them all.
I bow down my head in shame even while alone
My will was taken away from me
My treasured dignity was stripped away
I was forced to bend down my knees.*
*I can see gladness in their stares as my eye lids open a little to take a peep
The happiness in their eyes pierce through my skin causing me great pains
They stare at me in merriment as I hid my face in shame.*
*I can hear the shattering of their glasses as they cheers to my defeat
I'm the piece of their mockery
My pride has been made a doormat onto them
My dignity as been exchange for shame
I'm literally dead.*
*My morale is gone
I can't do anything good than living this misery of a life
I have suicidal thoughts and it could have been good if I can do it
I do feel suicidal everytime but I just can't go for the knife
I'm such a misery of myself.*
SOURCE
My eyelids are now open
I have stood up
My flaw is the shame I hid myself under and I have let it go
I told myself the biggest lie they wanted me to believe
I failed myself for a long while but not anymore
I have decided to fail them and stop believing in a lie
I have accepted the truth of me being unique.
I do have morale in me and not the one of finally ending it all
But the morale of picking up my piece and moving on Yeah they do throw me on the floor
And yeah I decided to get up I picked my dignity, for my destiny is not a doormat but a star
Stars are not to be hidden in shameStars shine and glitters
So I shine and glitter
For I'm a star
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