TGIF Silence | Productive Fridays; writing plan?

in #poetry7 years ago

We went out to TGIF for drinks and chicken wings,
I ordered a red beer, and you had a Miller lite.
Comfortable in our silence after two years
I sipped my drink and watched you fidget;
totally unprepared for your explosive
"why don't you just say something!"
I never understood your rage,
could never figure out why you were so pissed off.

Six years later I'm back at the TGIF
two tables down and a new bar layout
remembering that moment
how I wanted to kick your shins
under the table and screen to my past self
"don't let him fuck you so you could pretend
it was a comfortable silence."

My boyfriend asks me what I'm thinking about,
"this is where I should have known
my ex was cheating on me."
He doesn't know whether to give condolence
war professes loyalty, so he sips his red beer and says,
"that sucks." And I love him more.

 

 

*The last few poems have all been about my college boyfriend; where all the ridiculous drinking and sex has been coming from. Be warned the end is coming to our relationship and these love/hate poems.


Fridays are supposed to be my day for writing. They are supposed to be the day that I sit down and pump out story after Story full of exciting amazing prose. Unfortunately that is not always the case. Today I had a mountain of work to do that I did instead of writing.

Although I did seriously consider my behavior on steemit.com. Not that I have bad behavior or anything, but more that my posting habits are not entirely in line with what readers want to see.

It is easy for me to pump out an image laden poem, but it isn't always easy for me to write a compelling story full of sexiness that someone is want to read. It's much more difficult for me to pump a couple thousand words every week in a small self-contained story. So much easier for me to write a blog post and a short erotic poem.

Although I was happening is that the requirement to publish a home in a blog post requires just as much effort and decision-making as writing a little bit more than a story or in a book might. I'm wondering if the whole idea about having a limited number of choices and running through your decision bank leaves the less likely and motivated to do what is really important. Have you heard of the people that have the same outfit every day because they don't want to waste a "choice" on something as mundane as what they are going to wear? I'm thinking about by writing a blog post and erotic poem, I am using up my creative energy on this instead of what really brings the bacon: erotic novels.

This is just the first fledgling concept, or to be more accurate the thought sputtering in my brain. I have no intention to quit writing poetry or writing to update on my writing craft/journey. I think that is a valid insight into the creative process, and keeps me engaged with the readers in an accessible easy way.

Today I have not done my you as I've been distracted by chores and responsibilities around my house. Usually Fridays are my productivity day, and have just not in the writing arena.

I want to continue with Billy and Lizette. My goal is to get them having sex and hopefully get so into the scene I keep going until completion; just like Billy will completely ruin their relationship inside her butt. I find it only fitting that the first big story I write after 9 shorts about anal sex destroys a relationship with butt sex. I'm a woman of opposites and extremes, and I find it perversely amusing.

Thank you for the time to read through this. I am truly honored and thankful for everyone that enjoys the words I put to page. I literally write for others to read, so thank you for your comments, for your up votes, and for your encouragement. They are literally reasons why I continue doing what I do every day.

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I like this poem, I too have had...unsatisfactory...relationships that present me wishes they could shake past me for letting them go on so long. You gave this feeling a relate-able and clear voice.

I really enjoy reading your musings, they help to remind me that the struggle of consistently posting quality content is real! Between that passion and living life, you should be proud that you are able to post on a consistent basis. I understand your concern about using up creative energy on poetry when erotic stories "bring home the bacon." But I get the sense that poetry feeds your soul.

Maybe look at it like a well balanced meal - the meat and potato of erotica and the creme-brulee of poetry - you need all bits to be truly satisfied. I believe that creativity, like love, is unlimited. Sure, we may experience blockages at times but the creative force is infinite! Keep it up @jocelynlily!

This comment just lifted me up! It sprang happiness into my chest and compelled a smile immediately. Wow. Thank you for your kindness and your thoughts.

I loved the idea of a meal and well balanced and your thoughts on creativity not being limited.

Perhaps most touching is the simple statement I understand you address first. It means so much that my words connected with you and spoke to your own experience. . Thank you for acknowledging that suffering so well. We can find better.

Your post meant so much to me. Thank you.

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