I Wanna Know My Name - My Story Part 3 - POEM

in poem •  2 years ago 


Tryna find people that look like me
just to see what my name should really be
Where do I fit in?
Am I making it too big a thing?
But this feeling’s got me shaken
I want to find that place of belonging
and I refuse to give in
though some say its no big thing.

I wanna know my name
that’s the history of this game
not for fortune nor fame
but so I won’t hang my head in shame.
This ain’t fictional
neither suppositional
all I seek is the correctional
of that surname.

Is this all just vanity?
My desire for that sense of clarity
Even being warned there’s no point in this pursuit
since we then enslaved were given European names.

But yet,
I feel I can’t quit
at least,
not just yet
for my heart is still reaching
desiring, aspiring
that one day
I will know my name.

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Overall a competent piece. there are a few issues I have with it though. Actually two. The first one is:

"but so I won’t hang my head in shame."

I am not certain if shame is a good fit. Searching for one's family is not something that one is normally ashamed of. Well, at least not in the way this poem is read. Look into revising this part, that is if you rewerite it.

Finally, "Is this all just vanity?" Is another thing that threw me off a bit. Look at the word vanity. Is it vain to want to know where you are from? I highly doubt it. Sad, morose etc. are words that come to mind.

At the end of the day, the writer knows best. Thanks for sharing,

I love poems.. and this was fine.. I look forward for more .I'll be posting some soon..I hope you enjoy it,when I do 😃

Thank you for your genuine comment. People fail to realise that its still important to be genuine. I'll follow you just because you didn't ask me to @love.chills!

Thank you very much.. @semantic nice to meet you

So it is not fiction? I’m convinced now!
I liked this part “since we then enslaved were given European names.”

Try centering your poems sometimes

Gives it a nice effect. Will send you a link
On that if you don’t akresdy know.

@dmilliz yu a pressure mi. Cyaa keep up wid dem tings ya ehnuh man. Thanks for looking out! Send mi di link deh caah mi nuh know how fi format it.

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  ·  2 years ago Reveal Comment


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