Rowan Eleven years ...

With your eleventh birthday almost here … Time to look back at the years that passed by. And wow what have we been through a lot together. You came into my life as a little cuddly puppy, and I really needed you.

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In 2005 my father died from lung cancer. In 2007 my mother died of the consequences of COPD. I took care of both of them until it was no longer possible and ended up in a difficult period after their death. In the first instance I went everywhere, go to party's, have dates, have fun! Dismissed of the care for my parents and thought I enjoyed! Until the turning point came and I threatened to be swallowed by a huge depression. I did not feel like living anymore. I wanted to die. The only thing I just did not dare was to kill myself. That depression lasts for over a year and the only way for me to keep going on was taking Citalopram medicines. But that was not what I wanted for the rest of my life. Being not able to do the things I liked so much in the past, not having fun anymore, and even don't feel emotions ... It was really awful.

That was the moment when I decided to look for my big love for dogs. As a child I loved dogs, and that had never changed.

So the moment came on 17 september 2008, I bought you. A little white German Shepherd puppy. And with such a small puppy a lot changed. Where I first stayed in bed for half a day I had to get up very early in the morning. Where at first I did almost nothing, I had to go outside with my little friend! I had to go hiking, but also to train. You had to be brought up. Or, ... could it be you ... bringing me up again? Where earlier I felt so lost in the world, and had nothing to live for, I now knew a small mutated polar bear by my side. I had a purpose in my life again. I had a little doggy friend to take care of! And I really would do everything to make him happy to be my dog.

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We've gone through a lot together ...

Now so many years have passed by. And we've gone through a lot together. When you came into my life it was just the two of us, and later on my sister came to live with us, she brought Micky and Myla with her. And you had a lot of fun with them. And little Gentle joined us soon. So you had by then 3 dog-friends every day to play with. When my sister moved to her own appartment two years later we decided that she took Micky and Gentle with her, and Myla stayed with you and me. We've seen beautiful things, and we've been through greeve together. And when we were used to living with the three of us again, and doing fun things, I met a man. We got into a relationship and started living together. At that time a lot changed for you and Myla. There was suddenly a man that you had to accept as your boss, and not only that, he also brought two other dog friends home. You had some problems with Lana in the beginning ... but later you became best friends. It didn't go so well with you and Lex. Lex thought he could tell you what you should do, and if you showed that you disagreed in a normal way, you were punished. While Lex started the conflict.

You soon felt that "boss" didn't like you so much, and where you first accepted him and tried to become friends with him, you withdrew later. And your focus became even stronger on me.

When Lex dropped out of our midst you again became the Rowan I have always known. You play more again, and you are happier now that Lex is not always chasing you. But no matter how happy you are to play with the other dogs. You still are really MY dog. Everywhere I go, you follow me. You love to play, but prefer to play with me. You are a bit "the einzelgänger" among the dogs. You think it's all right that they are there, but I have to be around for you to be happy.

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Enjoy hours of walking together ...

You can listen as the best! But unfortunately, in the case of horseriders, you prefer to have bananas in your ears. So off leash only if I can be 100% sure that a horserider does not appear. Fortunately, you and I can also walk for hours with you on a leash and enjoy that hours walking … only because we are together, you and I, and Myla of course.

Also typical is that you are so completely happy when I take my camera bag. The camera is a lot of fun for you. You love to go with me when I go photographing, and you love to pose for me, much more then the other dogs. Myla is not that happy posing. And Lana doesn't even think of posing. She is much too impatient! It is not surprising that I often, (usually), get home with a lot more photo's of you. But for the last time I tried to not photograph you every time again.

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After seven years we are going to be with the three of us again. You, Myla and I ...

About four months back I thought I would loose you, and I am so happy that you were strong enough to survive. You are recovered really well and I believe you will be with me for another couple of years. And my friend, I am so happy with that. Soon we are going to face a new adventure in our lifes. After seven years of living together, the relation is over. We are going to be with the three of us again. You, Myla and I. And I'm very much looking forward to that. I know it's the best for you and Myla, and for sure it's the best for me. And I also know that you and Myla are happy as long as I am happy. And I am happy with you both by my side.

In short, you are my buddy, my doctor and my psychologist. You helped me through the worst period in my life. Through you I learned to enjoy life and see the beautiful things again. You brought me back into balance, you let me get up every day and together we have come back to life. You and Myla are my world … and with the two of you I can face everything.