Fear - A reflection of me/ B&W photography

in photography •  2 years ago 

I'm pretty sure everyone has at some point been through a hard time, wether it was a depression or extreme stress due to your job/studies, we can all admit we've been there or at least have experienced some form of fear.

For all of those who've experienced this, I want to share an older photograph I made during my depression. I was at a point of not wanting to do anything, I even lost my passion for photography and slept all day without eating, not willing to live and not caring about anything.

The reason I want to share this work now is because lately I've been feeling a bit the same again. I'm proud I was able to make this photograph back in those days, telling my story and that of many other people. Trying to be accepted by society, were depression is still one of the things that's being undervalued. 

I reach out to the people who've been or are going through these same feelings, you don't even have to be in a depression to have this moody, melancholic feelings, knowing that they're not alone and that there are people who want to support you.

A bit more technical aspects of my work; I chose to shoot this pic in b&w because it accentuates the dark moody feelings of sadness, fear, melancholy, ... I wanted to take a self portrait but since I lost a lot of weight I didn't feel ready to do this, so my sister stepped in for me. I asked her to scream as loud as she could, to express all her negative feelings she's been through. 

This was the result.

                                      "Fear"

Next to this photograph, I also decided to take a self portrait of my hand with some dark slime falling off, which can be seen as blood or black bile (one of the four liquids of melancholy). This represents the melancholy literally dripping off my hands, being stuck in the world I'm living in.

If you like my work, don't forget to upvote, comment & resteem! ^^

You can also find me on other social media as;
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gaellespaas_photography/  -  (@gaellespaas_photography)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gaellespaas.photography/

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Wow, reading your story gave me goosebumps! This post for sure hits close to home for so many people and I'm convinced that this post can be the voice for those with the same feelings. We all live in a society that brushes of depression & mental health in general as this feeling that will pass with time when in reality it just doesn't.

The pictures you provided in this post really gives an accurate representation of the mood & feelings you've felt in those dark times. Especially the scream is something powerful imo its something you can't directly see when you see a person because most of the people hide their feelings for the reason I mentioned earlier our society still looks at mental health as something that will pass with time.

Really touching post Gaëlle! I wish you all the best for the future & for sure hope you will feel better soon! :)

I really hope people recognize themselves in this post, so it can be a shoutout to everyone who has felt like this, knowing that we're not alone. Society totally kills everyone who suffers from a depression, they think 6months rest will be enough when you actually can't tell how long a person needs time to heal the wounds .. with the result of years of strong negative and somber feelings.

The scream represents indeed some inner emotions that everyone hides, just because we don't feel accepted when we would show our weak side. Thank you so much for your support !

Danm how I love her expression! Great bw capture!

Thank you! She did a great job!

nice photography

i love the photos.... intriguing @gaelle.spaas

Thank you

i love it... keep up and never loose ur passion for photography

Glad you liked it, I won't :)

What is it? looks like blood, black slime doesn't really say much

also the one that says "fear" looks interesting... it's as if the model was actually laughing

Its something I created myself, with chocolate, black paint, water, soja and dishwashing liquid. The model was screaming if you read the post

Now I did read all of it... Black bile, I didn't know about the four liquids of melancholy. I would have saved the chocolate though, good anti-depressant (I live in the country that produces the best cocoa seeds in the world, so that is a big deal here).

I did read that part before though, the one about the "scream". What I mean is, in spite of the intent (of screaming), she looks to be laughing out loud... Do you get it? It's like a paradox, or a dilemma, a bit of twisted sarcasm...

Don't get me wrong, I do know what you meant. Depression can be a terrible companion... But also it is said from it spring at times great ideas; all great thinkers in History are said to have been depressive-maniac. I myself was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, so I would know... Type 2 BTW... When I feel bad I start drawing and writing poetry, it's odd...

And as I told you, having my hand incapacitated for a while (a car engine fell on it, yikes!) has left me feeling vulnerable, but not being able to draw or write (I am beginning to type fluently as you can see; I had been typing with only my left hand, which was incredibly hard at first) has proven a challenge indeed; how do I drain the feelings of nostalgia, frustration and impotence? That is what riddles me at this very hour...