Guilt's Heart: Consciously Choosing the Right Thing to Do
I was reminded of an important topic today when I was led to a contest sponsored by https://steemit.com/@vegansilverstack about why we choose to be "good." Thoughts entered my mind of all the foolish things I have done in my life, like leaving an awful note under the windshield wiper of a truck that parked too close to my car in a parking lot, making a snide comment to the grocery store cashier who counted the items in my basket to make sure I didn't have more than fifteen, judging my neighbor because his favorite past time was solving convoluted math problems, and partaking in gossip. There's more. These are things that I had to forgive myself for once I woke up and realized that the matrix programmed me, programs us, to thrive on drama. I'm fully responsible for my actions, and now that I know better, I do better. It takes a conscious effort, however, to undo what was normal behavior.
I am of the belief that we are born innocent. Yes, some came here to ascend through the negative, but this is a tiny percentage. For the rest of us, we were born made of pure love. That is our nature. We did not come here to hate, complain, judge, backstab, or feel anxious. Nor did we come here to be greedy, gluttenous, or drunk. So, what happened then? How did we stray so far from behaving in loving ways to not only others but also to our ownselves?
We got caught up in the matrix. That's what happened. We worshipped movie stars and athletes, wanting to have what they seemed to have. We believed what we saw on television, what we read in magazines and newspapers, and what we learned in school. We learned to fear other humans, our own brothers and sisters. We learned lack. We were told there wasn't enough money, food, water, time......So, we stepped on the neck of our brother to get ahead in life, so we would have everything we thought we might lose.
The matrix taught us to be afraid, to conform, to obey "authority figures," and to make sure we never let anyone take advantage of us. The world is a scary place, we're told. Better to eat than to be eaten, like we're all fucking cavemen running away from lions. The matrix also taught us that war is necessary if we want peace and that our bodies are like mine fields, so we better listen to doctors and the government if we don't want disease. The matrix made us dependent and powerless. No wonder when I finally woke up I was angry. I felt betrayed because life was not supposed to be that way.
When I got on the other side of angry, I knew I had to change my ways. I certainly couldn't change the people around me, so I focused on me. I read everything ever written about the truth of how the universe works and about the truth of our own nature. I went so far down the rabbit hole that I thought that I was going to go crazy. I didn't want to live on this prison planet any longer.
I'm still here and many years have passed. I've been able to digest and work through what I have learned. Now, this brings me back to https://steemit.com/@vegansilverstack 's contest and being good. I choose to be a good person because I know that is who I am. I am, we all our, part of creator who is pure unconditional love. When we do what the matrix wants us to, like flip off the driver who cuts us off in traffic, we are hurting ourselves. We are creating a negative emotional reaction within us that causes dis-ease in not only us but also the planet as a whole. We are feeding the beast.
When we choose a more loving action when a driver cuts us off such as thinking to ourselves, "Maybe she has an emergency," or just taking a deep breath and continuing on our journey, we bring peace to ourselves and thus to the entire planet. We let it go. Every thought we think, every word we say and every action we do brings about a karmic reaction. We do, indeed, reap what we sow. We create the world we are living in.
I know it's not always easy to react with loving kindness. I have to bite my tongue sometimes. Many times it takes a full-on conscious effort to do the right thing. What I have learned, though, is that conscious effort is well worth it. I have never regretted reacting with kindness....or just not reacting at all. It's okay to say in your head, "This too shall pass." Because it always does.