There was a time when I was a young man when the life of a Tibetan monk vowing silence among other things in exchange for a life of devotion to thought and meditation seemed extremely attractive to me and still does in many respects but I try to live my life without regret and believe somewhat in synchronicity and things happening for a reason since I have more personal evidence for this being the case than many other beliefs. I have many of the same thoughts as yourself and would consider myself a prolific thinker also, though I have no idea whether that says anything at all about my intellect since most of my thoughts seem to be confused, hypocritical, contradictory and repetitive.
There are a million different belief systems and philosophies that help men and women get through their lives here with some semblance of purpose but really if any are right then it can be only one and the others are all wrong so is it better to have a belief system or not?
Most of us at least do seem to have an inbuilt knowledge of what is good and what is bad though as you know a lot peoples behaviours can be due to social engineering. The trouble is, most of us let other people do our thinking for us and unfortunately I can't say where I think the positive change in this regard will come from in future.
For me, I know I have some inner voice calling me to something, though I have no idea what it is but what once scared me has become something that I now fully enjoy and embrace. I have no idea why I am here or where I really came from but I am enjoying trying to find out whether there is an answer even if ultimately there isn't one.
Hope you are well my friend! :)
I am running to work but this is something I have felt since very young. There is something there, it has been 30 odd years since I noticed it first, am I just an idiot for not realising?
I have been down many paths in my thinking and my quest for understanding. I have listened to both religious and scientific protagonists lay out their reasoning for why their beliefs are the right ones and I have been influenced by many peoples words but I myself have come to the realisation that everything is just Chinese whispers and on my own journey I have also realised that listening to my intuition is the best method for me to navigate my way through the world. I have never had a 'spiritual' experience in the traditional sense but I do feel some sort of spiritual connection with something is there and that through time it has been lost, for whatever reason. (at least to most of us)
I think we both realise that no matter how much we discuss our thoughts with ourselves or others, the answers will never be found during our time here in the 'walking world' but what does it say about us that we know this but continue to seek answers that are not to be found? Perhaps others are right when they say there is no point asking questions with no answers and that ultimately it will not do us any good but for my part at least it isn't a choice. For me, I see it as the reason I am here. At least the main reason. I couldn't stop asking these questions if I wanted to , which I don't. It may sound conceited and arrogant but for the little I actually profess to know and no matter how confused I know I am or how lowly my position within the current societal paradigm may be, I still feel like I am way ahead of the game in terms of my understanding of self and my reason for being here. I'm not satisfied with the hypothesis' of others, so I continue to formulate my own and if I fail to come to satisfactory conclusions in my own thinking then so be it. As Bill Hicks said, ''It's just a ride!''. :)