A misunderstood life
What happens when someone has found their calling, do they change or do they live who they are? Many people look for purpose in this life, a meaning for their actions, a reason but rarely do they consider that finding this is going to create the most difficult circumstances of life itself.
Find a purpose changes our thoughts, our actions, our feelings and even though we may be satisfied with our position, it doesn't mean it will be accepted by others. People who may have known us from childhood may no longer recognise what they once knew. They will see the change and that change will no longer fit the narrative they have held and rather than try to learn, they move further away.
People that claim to love you for who you are may shift that love and say, you have changed, this is not who I agreed to. Is that love? Perhaps not but it is human nature, it is to be expected. People tend not to want the views they have subscribed to disturbed, they prefer to learn and forget that what they know is transitory and open to experience and movement.
Should not being accepted by those that say they care stop one from acting on purpose, should one restrict being authentic in order to satisfy the expectations of others? It may make for an easier life, but is it a better life? Where does it end, how much will we change or force ourselves to remain unchanged in order to live up to the demands of others?
When two people get into a long-term relationship it is accepted that the body will change, the muscles will fall away, wrinkles will appear. The expectation is that one must still love, one must still desire even though the shifts happen, they are natural after all.
But the mind? That is another case entirely. One must think the same way, enjoy the same things, be of the same intellectual positions for eternity. Thoughts and ideas as to what life means, what needs to be done must remain the same or else, one has cause to condemn and attack, because the other used to think this or that.
Minds can change faster than bodies as the mind is made of thoughts and they come and go like clouds across the sky. A strong breeze of experience can blow them all away, and one can be left with clarity of what is in the mind and the space for new thoughts to arrive. What happens if these new thoughts say to do differently, try differently, behave differently?
Will we listen or will we deny because others may not understand us, accept us, like us? It seems simple but is a hard choice to make for social beings, people who rely on each other for many things. Do I go with my heart, or go with the group? Why is there this choice at all, shouldn't we be encouraged to find meaning in our lives?
We are of course encouraged, find your passion and work hard at it. The caveat is that it will only be supported if others agree with the passion found, can accept the change in you. If they do not, they will criticise and try to enforce their will, try to get you to act within the box they have placed around you, the cage they want to hold you in.
I wonder if those that want others to conform found their real path, how would they react to being consistently told they are crazy by those who say they care? How can you be happy if you do not act like me, think like me, live like me, want the same as I? Do they want to understand, or is it all about them?
Many people live in this context, unsure if they should take the steps to follow a call or hold back and play it safe in the group. Many, when faced with the first resistance turn back, return to the security of the group. Very few push on, explore deeper into the darkness, take a lonely path away from the torches of the mob.
If they find something in that darkness, light a path for others to follow they are celebrated as trailblazers, revered as beacons of creativity and become shining lights in history. For those that that make the attempt and stumble forever in the darkness however, they are failures and shunned. Why did they not do what I said and just act like everyone else?
There are no guarantees in that darkness, it is only filled with uncertainty and fortune. Those that walk it may be the most misunderstood, the unaccepted, unloved. They are the ones who choose to go in even if it costs them friends, family and those they love dearly. If it costs them all that is important to them in this life. For to not answer that call is to not live as themselves, it is to choose to play the role of another.
If the darkness calls, will you light your torch and venture into the cave or, will you ask from the group whether you should? Are you willing to ignore their response and go anyway?
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
Pursuing our callings and exploring the essential self... and being true to that self... is often where we get to sort out when love is "conditional" and "not conditional."
As a friend of mine likes to point out, it is easy enough to "FALL in love," but it is far more of a challenge to "RISE in love," together.
Falsifying our essential self in service of "getting along" is never a good thing. It turns us into colorless sheeple.
'sheeple', that's nice :). saw some interesting posts in your account, gave you a follow, looking forward to see more!
I say 'Grow together, or grow apart' but perhaps I should add 'both stand still'.
Lights the torch and ventures into the darkness. Those not willing to accept us for who we are and that we are changelings, we grow and learn and never stay the same, and are not willing to love us unconditionally, really are not the people to keep.
The problem is that there are so many of them that come and go. It really is a lonely pathway at times.
Change is natural and healthy. People re-inventing themselves is a sign of them being alive and, yes, others might have trouble understanding this. If they cannot accept change, oh, well, good riddance.
What if they are the people closest to you, are you willing to let them go?
¡Yes! You MUST be willing to let them go.
Because after all, at the end of the day. YOU and only you, are the only one in charge to deal with and to carry on with the entire heavy burden of yourself wherever you go and wherever you end up arriving at any time.
Since no one else will care a rat ass to give a hand to alleviate the weight of that supposed heavy load. :)
An useful reminder: Yes, one more time. ;)
"We've all arrived to this earthly plane alone. We've been experiencing and living it alone. And we also will leave it alone."
My husband and I went to India for one and a half year and lived at an ashram. The time we left, people around us didn't really understand, and for me one of the most liberating aspects to that traveling was to do what I wanted without bothering about the expectations and opinions of others.
Now that we are back in Netherlands, it is an interesting situation. Where family and friends seem to easily fall back into the expectations they used to have of me, but I really don't have any interest in following them there. It's an interesting path, the one of believing in who you are and what you do, and accepting how people can be disappointed by that. Thanks for a beautiful write up, gave you a follow and looking forward to more!
After being in India for so long, the Netherlands must look different.
Yes, it is very difficult for people to meet a person again and get reacquainted with any change. Too much mental effort perhaps. thank you for the follow and taking the time to comment.
whenever life is calling you to move on to learn something new, to find out about something you yet don't know, it feels like some sort of "darkness" just as long as you start to move into it and light it up. And yes, the most natural thing is, that with this process you will have to dis-appoint the ones who are not done at where they are - they were appointed for this "lesson" and whoever is called along with you will stay appointed.... the rest will be dis-appointed, this is their film, their storyline etc.... the tricky thing is about our responsibilities in life.... - so many dark spaces seem to call us, maybe not all are worth a step in... deep inside we know and have the answer to when it is time to move on and when it is time to stay :-) Cheers from the Seven Mountains in Germany
Responsibility is an issue always but for a role model to a child, is it better to hold back or live fully?
If you put the color white to live fully and the color black to hold back you can feel, that there are many colors in between.... In todays world the overkill of seducing offers makes it hard for children to calm down at all - to come to a rest - and stay there for awhile... I believe (not know) today a role model living his/her responsibility is the most important. Sometimes "living fully - escape doors" come as the excuse-seduce when the going gets tough and things get rough.... In the end, the only truth I know is, that every single being has to find his/her very own way and solution - there is no right or wrong and no good and bad - these are only concepts of our thinking :-) An early morning Cheers from the Seven Mountains in Germany
Your question is general; a macro perspective on a micro problem. There should be personal foundational standards that are a life constants. These form our character, but they are also general, like truth and love. If you make a life commitment and your character values demand sticking to it, then you never change course.
The essence of your decisions depends on character rules you have chosen.
I had a friend saying he does not believe in life long love, because it is impossible to keep the same mental path in life in ideas, choices, decisions, true our whole lives.
He claimed he would always do an evaluation after 5 years to see if you still on the same emotional track..
I dont know if that is the best idea ever, but what I do know it is actually difficult to keep thinking the same. Ideas develop, and due to our jobs and the people we meet, we might just choose a different path
LoL, how much I can relate with all this above my dear friend. Better not let me started with the whole thing yet. Tsk Tsk
Just let's say. What about those that knowing that you are still the very same of all life since they meet you. All these years they had been expecting be able to change you or that you changed by yourself at some point to their own taste and yet, they couldn't change you and/or you didn't change in the most minimum way who you are either?
Haha, yes! I guess it's better buy them a new Chinese Tangram to keep them entertained producing & creating new figures, shapes & characters by themselves easier. }:)
to follow one's calling and willing to walk a different path than others despite not having the support of your friends and families is okay. it is no one's life but yours. only you alone knows whats best for you. nice post taraz!