My Own View: How to Mend A Broken Heart?

jonnahmatias1016 (51)in #philippines • 8 years ago

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When I wake up this morning, everything is totally different with puffy eyes, lazy morning, lose of appetite, or somehow a shortchange with everything. I don't know why I am still affected even if I am already a veteran in this issue. (hahahha gors na!!) I am single again with my 10th boyfriend? Wait, 15? heheheh.
The searing pain of a failed relationship is the greatest suffering many of us will ever experience.
I am just wondering, why people will undergo depression, trauma, or suicide due to heartbreak.

First, let us understand what is heartbreak?

According to Naomi Eisenbuerger, Ph.D., and assistant professor of psychology at the University of California at Los Angels told Women's Health Magazine, the area of your brain that lights up when you're hurt physically is the same area that lights up when you suffer “social rejection.” So, when we say heartbreak "hurts like hell," you know it actually hurts.
As Women's Health Magazine explains, when you're in love, your brain is inundated with the neurochemicals dopamine and oxytocin, making you experience feelings of happiness and pleasure. After all, love is more addicting than drugs, according to science.

So the more you love is the more in pain. Here are my techniques how to fix a broken hearted which also applied to myself.

Allow yourself to grieve
Find time to be alone with your own thoughts and away from everybody. Feel the pain and grieve the heartbreak or simply cry hard because crying is the other way of releasing the stress. Crying is normal and nothing to be ashamed according to psychologist. During this stage I cried a lot every night for almost a week while reminiscing the memories and broken promises.

Finding a reliable support system
When we are in emotional turmoil it can feel like we are nwohere and everywhere at the same time. So this is the best way to mend a broken heart is finding a support systems in the form of your family members, friends, close friends, or best friends. If you don't have courage to share with your family, talk and consult your best advicer, our friends. Talking out with someone can make you aware and more conscious of why you are feeling the way you are and that in itself will start building the momentum to begin the healing process. Sometimes, I drink alcohol with friends just to relax.

Do what makes you happy
One of the most liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I’m immersed in grief and sadness is this: I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy. That job is all my own, with a little help from God.
Give yourself time and do things that make you smile. Keeping busy with hobbies you're passionate about trying new things also keep your mind busy during hard times. Doing some activities like pampering your self to the salon or relaxing spa or go to mall for shopping.

Forgive them
But forgiveness requires hope: believing that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won’t be with you forever, that one day you’ll be excited to make coffee in the morning or go to a movie with friends. Hope is believing that the sadness can evaporate, that if you try like hell to move on with your life, your smile won’t always be forced. Therefore in order to forgive and to move past fear, you need to find hope and forgive.

Don't lose hope instead believe on the love again
I've been in many failed relationships but I never give up and still waiting for the right one.
According to Henri Nouwen urges to love again because the heart only expands with the love we are able to pour forth. He writes:

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. The pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

And if you do not yet find true love, believing the best about yourself will create a life that has greater meaning and satisfaction. When you see yourself as you truly are—worthwhile and a force for good—you can be patient for events to unfold the way you wish them to."

The best revenge is not taking any revenge instead of accept the things. The intensity of love is equate to the pain of loss. The more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your pain.