Alas, CLARITY! I know what I want to be when I grow up.
Have you ever had a moment when you (kind of, sort of) knew what you wanted to do and then something comes along and completely reinforces your path?
~ I had that moment today ~
I know what I want to be when I grow up!
Me.
Meredith Loughran poem. Image background is CC from pixabay, no attribute needed.
Approximately this time last year
I was sitting on the back porch and felt a peace embrace me like loving arms. For a moment in time everything was perfect, not because my life was perfect, but because there was a quiet stillness and I felt connected to the universe and all its beauty.
Today wasn't perfect either but I had an excited, sick feeling in the pit of my belly as goosebumps covered my arms at the discovery of a chance at a fellowship for mental health journalism.
That's when all the moving parts clicked into place and I KNEW without a doubt where my efforts needed to be focused.
I. MUST. DO.
It calls to every fiber of my being and I know - I really know - that it's the right path.
When I wrote Setting goals and making things happen I mentioned podcasts, a vlog and blogging on Steemit. So keeping with this:
image source
I'm laying out my plans on the blockchain because1: I want to be held accountable and
2: I want to be on record that this is the day
that I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up!
2: I want to be on record that this is the day
that I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up!
Let me go a little more in-depth about my projects than I did yesterday.
One podcast that I am involved in is called Divergence: The Negative Separation.
My good friend, Colin Porter and I are currently recording episodes and getting them into post production. It's about mindset and overcoming obstacles which hold us back. We have a broad range of topics and anecdotes. We talk about some of our own painful experiences and how we've managed through them, but we also laugh.
My vlog is tentatively called LIAR: An Aspie Hiding In Plain Sight
What do you think of the title?
It's no secret that I've been assessed as having Asperger's Syndrome as an adult In fact, it's proudly shared on my Steemit & Twitter profile. People meeting me today would never know that I "suffer" because it's an invisible affliction.
In fact, I finished my Associate's degree and only have a few more classes to finish my Bachelor's in Psychology because I do not believe the mental health community is properly serving this particular branch of people and I know that I can bridge a gap to better understanding...even if I only help ONE person.
It's true that I've assimilated now. I fit in with "normal" people but I'd be terribly insulted if someone said I was "cured" because I don't particularly think I was ever broken. Misunderstood, yes. Bullied, yes. Quirky, most definitely. But never broken.
"LIAR" is in the title is because I often feel like I have to lie, put up a front, and act when I'm in public. I constantly remind myself to "be cool" and thankfully are familiar enough with my triggers to excuse myself when I need a moment to calm down.
This vlog is going to be posted on YouTube and Patreon.
More to do
I'm still overhauling my website because that is my professional page, but I've also spent a portion of my day cleaning up the abandoned Patreon page. I've carved out a semi-quiet place in the house to begin recording my vlog for YouTube and have begun making a list of topics and anecdotes to talk about. My ultimate goal is to simply be me: straight-forward, organic, original.
I am carefully fashioning a short essay to submit with the fellowship application. Doubt and fear is starting to creep in. Blogging doesn't count as journalism to qualify for this fellowship, but will my 7 years working in the newspaper business count if my official title was Coordinator? Will I find three references in the Mental Health field who will vouch for me and my projects?
Finally
I'm relieved to finally discover that all I want to be when I grow up is ME.
Who'd've thunk it?
Join my curation trail on Streemian
I am bummed you plan on growing up
LOL
Since you asked for feedback..... I will say this. I mentioned to you a long time ago, I never knew what Aspie meant.
It is one of those things in that community you guys know about, but the rest of us don't and I guess if you want to outreach to the masses -- not @the.masses lol
-- then you have to decide if that is what you want or if it long term really is just for the insiders in the community.
And remember this is coming from a guy with friends on the Asperger and Autism side of things. And I STILL never heard that, even when I was researching info so I could relate and be a better friend to them. Male and female, BTW.
Hope you do not mind this but I think it is important.
I will definitely keep that in mind, @barrydutton - your feedback is important to me. I personally don't like saying that it's "a form of autism" because I don't agree with that assessment. I guess I prefer saying Aspie because I can't tell you how many people make fun of the name Asperger - as in "ass burger." It's sad and demeaning.
And, your ears must have been burning because I was thinking about you when I realized I didn't make a back-up before I cleared my cache and don't have access into my OpenLedger account anymore! sigh I should have listened. I thought I did...and probably got sidetracked. sad. sad.
Fair points all around. I know what you mean. But then again I have been a social justice advocate a long time and that is even with what I am dealing with here as you know. Marginalized again by the 2nd bank in 3 months LOL.
The OL restore is easier than you think, like I said, we both find their stuff hard to use and clearly you are smarter than me hahaha
Oh, man! Good things have to come your way, Barry! I've got prayers and positive thoughts being sent out to the universe on your behalf.
I was so frustrated with myself about the OL thing that I closed the tab. I'll deal with that mess when I have more patience. LOL
lol, I know how you feel lol. I can spend 5 mins one day if you PM me or something and lead you to the simplest stuff that actually works on that.
I'm back in! WooHoo! I was cleaning up the junk and reorganizing my laptop. And something told me to look through the recycle bin before I emptied it. There it was - a bts.bin file. So I restored it and I have my OL account back.
So happy! :)
It makes me very happy to know that this is much better and full of projects, it will certainly be a wonderful blog, you are very intelligent to be down.
Have faith everything is going to be alright dear friend @ merej99
I greet your husband
with love
Luis
Ugh how high is your IQ ;)
People with asperger's syndrome and autism are not much understood...let alone the doctors who started it.
I read a book called "children of now" which was enlightening to us mortals. do you have any idea how gifted you are by any chance?
I've been told I was gifted in a few areas but always taken those gifts for granted. It was in speaking to other folks with Asperger's when I realized a bunch of us secretly think of them as super powers. LOL That definitely appeals to the geek in me. But on the flip side, I also consider myself a complete idiot and always seeking a smarter, wiser person to learn from.
oh no..reign your horses, you're only gifted in one or 2 areas, perhaps more but not all ;)
there's that kid in the US who's a genius with math, everything else is normal lolsss
Yup - definitely not gifted in all things. Math makes my hair hurt and I'm quite awkward with most things.
Well I don't mind having one and I don't care what other people say. Have fun you!
And you are just perfect :)
LOL - not I!
Practically :)
yup, I think this is the right direction - my daughter worked in the field. I met one of her students and he saw right through me - said I worked for CSIS, the Canadian version of the CIA. Very perceptive
Education is the key. If one single person turns to be educated and learns from you, you should consider your initiative a success. (Just to say I agree with you).
At the end of the day, it is actually hard to me to read one word from your text. The word normal. Even with the quotation marks. Normality means nothing. There is no such a thing, IMO :)
"Normal" is a relative term. What may be normal for one is not normal for another. Some would say I am not "normal." I am normal for us.
That was actually my point, which is why I hate this word, except when it is used for the normal distribution which has a very well defined meaning in statistics.
I'm very happy for you, merej99. I'm glad you have found your path! I'm glad you don't feel you have to be someone else's normal.
I have always been someone else's normal, but that IS my normal and I am myself within it. If you want to know what I mean by that, visit my page and read my first entry.
Very interesting piece. May I say as someone who has been on YT for years, don't worry too much about perfect production. Sure do they best you can with what you have, but at the end of the day, the folks there are used to seeing just real people telling real stories- and that's why we are there and not watching TV lol. Good luck and feel free to ask any questions.
My first question is, where's the link to your channel? :D
Today my goal is to record the story about how effed up my name is as a sort of introduction into perhaps why I never had a chance to be anything other than odd. LOL
Well its at the bottom of all my posts and also on my profile page LOL And I have a few of them LOL
My main channel https://www.youtube.com/user/VirtualDonna123
My cooking channel https://www.youtube.com/c/justbadfood
Twitter https://twitter.com/VirtualPaul1
Niume https://niume.com/profile/101496#!/posts
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/OldGuyPhotography
And I really did see them but I'm glad you posted them here because hopefully more people from my audience will see them and start following you. there's method to that madness! ;)
Several community members make signature gifs or clipart for easy recognition when they post comments. Something to think about implementing because it's informative & fun without being spammy. Two great examples of this in practice are @kus-knee and @creatr