Resolving Family Discord

gokike (34)in #peace • 6 years ago

There are families where siblings are divided. Some children hate their fathers and some have not forgiven their mothers. Family discord is a real issue in some families today.
One reason for rivalry in the family is unresolved issues no matter how trivial. Some infections at the initial stage may not seem harmful but if left untreated they can turn out to become a serious health challenge. So are family issues. An unresolved issue may be overlooked but it remains NOT RESOLVED. That trivial matter can degenerate to such an extent that a battle line is drawn by two parties in the family. Down the line, the opposing parties remain on different sides as a result of issues not connected to the initial one that started it all.
Another reason for discord in the family is envy. A woman was the fourth child and the third female in her family. The father passed away and somehow the mother found support in her. The first daughter noticed this and envy came upon her. “Who do you think you are self?” was what she kept asking her younger sister for the slightest thing she did. The envy grew and so did the rancour between them. Years later, the elder sister started involving other members of the family. For five years both sisters kept malice.
Sibling rivalry can be triggered by favouritism. Some mothers have this favourite child that can do no wrong. There are times when they neglect a child of theirs when that child needs them because they are giving so much attention to their favourite. This overt favouritism is dangerous to the relationship among the children.
How does one handle family discord? If you are having this sort of issue then the first thing you need to do is to be at peace with yourself. You cannot give what you do not have and you really want peace in the family. Being at peace with yourself enables you to see the issue as it is and not as it seems to be. Try not to be emotional but rational about it. You are set to do the right thing by being at peace with yourself. When you think about it, discord has no advantage over peace. So if there is any action you are taking or words you are speaking that is keeping the rancour going on then you have to stop it. Peace in the family promotes progress.
Change your attitude. A whole mass of issues can be resolved by a change of attitude. If you can stop perceiving the other person as an enemy, you start seeing the good side of that person. Because you are at war with him, all you see about him is negative. But nobody is absolutely evil. When you change your attitude towards that person in the way you relate to him, you may find out that as a result he is motivated to change his attitude towards you. Then some unimportant issues that have been the cause of argument are seen for what they really are – trivial. In a peaceful atmosphere such issues can be properly addressed.
To tackle family discord you have to deal with your pride. The pride of the human heart is the cause of so much disagreement, rivalry, cases, and even divorce. If only pride is done away with, the spirit of humility which promotes love thrives. Humility is not cowardice. That you are humble does not mean that you think less of yourself. It shows that you think of yourself less and more of others.
So anyone in a family discord should make up his mind to pursue peace. One who does that has everything to gain and it shows how matured such a person has come to be.