Declassified Logs- Butterscotch and Madness- The U.S.S. Minnowprize

--- COPILOT STITCHY'S PRIVATE LOGS ---

Status: Declassified

The butterscotch traps have failed.

I am not sure how he has done it, but the Captain has so far eluded all means of capture. Forty crew members have been injured in attempts to subdue our former leader.

The rumor mill has been going full blast. I've heard that he has greased himself with engine oil to make himself harder to grasp. Also, to aid his transversing of the air ducts.

Three crew swore to me that they witnessed him slithering down the main halls as if on a slip 'n' slide and then simply... vanish.

Another odd dozen informed me that he has been seen skittering around the mess hall and amassing ungodly amounts of spoons.

I break out in a cold sweat wondering what hellish part these spoons might play in The Captain's next coup.

I have seen none of these things so I can neither confirm or deny their validity.

I can say, off record, that it does sound like something he might do.

Late at night, I've heard heavy breathing all across the ship. I believe he may have patched into the comm system. He has yet to say anything relevant save for:

"MORE RATIONS! MORE RUM!"

Some of the greener of the cadets have taken to leaving their dessert rations and small glasses of watered down alcohol outside of their bunks as an offering.

They foolishly believe that this will result in them being spared.

To their credit, their offerings have been stolen away in the night and replaced with crudely fashioned wrapper dolls on tiny pikes.

I am reminded of a toothfairy gone mad.

We are still unsure if this is a sign of favor... or prehaps akin to recieving the Black Spot.

It is a point of much contention.

---END TRANSMISSION---