How to Have it All in China - #comedyopenmic round #21

I want everything. F*ck choices. Why choose if you can actually have it all?

Background on China, can be skipped if TL;DR

You might not know, but China is a country always moving, developing, investing. At least from my experience. In a city like Shanghai, which is the city with the largest population world-wide, everything is always on the move. Change is instant. Your favorite small restaurant might be gone a few months later, bulldozed over and a new apartment building in place and already in use.

There are more malls and underground connection ways filled with shops and restaurants than you can ever believe. I'm very much exploring my subterranean explorations, walking for hours under ground, from mall to mall, metro station to connecting pathway. Places I had been a lot, and only after months you find out that there are many many many people there, just a few metres below your feet.

It's incredible. China is incredible.

Incredible. adjective. so extraordinary as to seem impossible;

But how to make sure you can have it all, you may wonder.

How to deal with all those cute stores selling little furry animals that look like owls or mice or whatever? How to make your way through all those luxury items that I definitely cannot pay for. Okay, I don't really like parfums, so that was an easy one. But a subterranean life in China is not easy. (Especially not when you know the size of your suitcase and that you won't be able to take much with you... And also when you think of the environment and the heap of rubbish that... okay TL;DR)

I decided that photographs are also ownership.

(I'm not saying I don't buy anything, I have got some presents for people back home, and also a photograph of food will not really help stop that feeling in your stomach. But most things I see, I really don't need. And that is my main weapon against commercialism. To know the difference between desire and need.)

So I'll end this murmur of thoughts with some things I now own.

Ownership by photograph. Let's make it a thing. #ownershipbyphotograph

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This one I got specially for my partner, who is a space plumber.

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Cute animals on cute plates! I wanted them. Now I have them! This is great!

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Normally I want to have cakes in the sense that I want to eat them. But I don't like matcha, which is a type of green tea. But still these matcha cakes looked amazing, so now I could own them, without having to taste them. Double win!

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I couldn't choose which one I wanted. Fortunately, now I have them all!

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What's there to say? I wanted them, now I have them.

Thank you for reading. I'm sure I'll be having some more things tomorrow, so please follow me to see how I develop my skills of having it all. #ownershipbyphotograph

I hope you enjoyed this expose on how to have it all in China. I'm nominating @diebitch to have it all in India and @negativer to have it all in the United States for @comedyopenmic round 21. Let's have it all, life is too short to have to make choices!

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And on the plus side, with this method you save on tax AND shipping and handling costs!

And (plastic) bags to carry it all, more space to house it all, brain-memory-space to not forget everything you have stored where. I keep it all in a folder on my computer! So not even a problem when I want to get rid of it, no demolishing costs, just a click to get rid of it all!

Here is a photo of your post: 6A1B04ED-5A4D-4200-A60C-10051D1BE5B1.png

Does that mean I own the payout too?

Yes. But I have a picture of your profile and wallet. Just in case.

Yes. But I have a
Picture of your profile and
Wallet. Just in case.

                 - nobyeni


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

Ok, I didn’t want to have to do this...

BE6C9FF0-31B9-4B17-A797-E4B3DF3697C0.jpeg

This is a great idea. From now on, when my kids ask for something expensive or another toy, I'm gonna take a picture so they can have it all. I'll even print it out and frame for them.

Excellent. It's really a good feeling to have it all. Can only recommend it to everybody.

space plumber haha I would hate that job. Would be hard to keep the pipes flowing as they should.

Wait until you're up there in space, and you need one :P

gotta catch 'em all

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