Southold Report: What I Have Learned From The College Admissions Scandal

William Southold, The Southold Report

As a parent, I have watched the college admissions scandal with some interest. Recently it has flowered and bloomed like my newly planted spring garden basking in the increasing warmth of the seasonal sun.

My wife and I have planted four flowers of our own, doing our best to nurture them with care and with not an over abundance of ill-applied fertilizer. Like most parents, I suppose, we have come to learn that they will grow in their own time and fashion to be the best they can be. Some of them have been more instructive of this lesson than others.

What caught my eye the other day was a letter, penned by lawyers on behalf of parents involved in the scandal, offering an explanation of their attempts at parenting. As my wife and I contemplate our retirement, it struck me that the lawyer’s letter might offer a “template”, with a few markups, for parents who find themselves in our position.

Below is the text of the original letter followed by one with my own markups. See what you think.

Lawyer’s original:

“No words can express how sorry we are for what we have done. Our duty as parents was to set a good example for our children and instead we have harmed and damaged them by our misguided decisions. We have also let down our family, friends, colleagues and our entire community. We have worked cooperatively with the prosecutors and will continue to do so as we take full responsibility for our bad judgement.”

My version:

No words can express how sorry happy we are for what we

have done. Our duty as parents was to set a good

example for our children and instead we have harmed puzzled

and damaged befuddled them by our misguided totally unexpected decisions.

We have also let down surprised our family, friends, colleagues and

our entire community. We have worked cooperatively enthusiastically

with the prosecutors our travel agent and will continue to do so as we

take full responsibility for our bad long overdue judgement.

William and Stephanie Southold

Any comments?

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(Screenshot of NBC News Story)