Pelosi To Democrats - Eat Your Peas!
William Southold | Opinion Columnist |The Southold Report
I’m going to take you around the block with this one, but it’s the only way I can think of to give full credit to my wife.
As some of you may be aware, I’ve received a “smattering” of positive feedback in my act as Rap Artist Cold Will S. at a few poetry slams around the DC area. Now I’ve decided to try out my chops as a stand-up comic, and will be taking the stage for the first time this Sunday evening at DC’s Comedy Circus Open Mic night. When my wife questioned me on this new turn of events, I told her - because I can be a funny guy, that’s why.
We had just returned from a short vacation trip to Key West, where we happened to wander into a bar on Duval Street and found a large crowd enjoying one of the most unique entertainers I have ever seen. He goes by the name Yo! Adrian, and let me just say, he puts on quite a show. Where else can you merely peek around a corner when you hear an audience having the time of their lives, and immediately find yourself engaged in good natured banter with the star of the show? I later found out you can watch several examples of this singer/song writing/guitar playing comedian’s performances on YouTube. Anyway, that’s what gave me the idea that I might want to try it out myself. Minus the singing/song writing/guitar playing, of course.
To make this too long story a bit shorter, I quickly found out while laboring over my 5 minute monologue that it’s my wife who has the talent for summing up the current political scene in a single pithy phrase. She passed by the living room catching me all too involved in the TV news coverage of Robert Mueller’s brief statements and the seemingly endless coverage of reaction to it. Nancy Pelosi was on the screen.
My wife made short work of the Speaker’s reaction.
“Seems to me,” my wife said, “she’s telling her Democratic children to eat their peas. Good for her.”
“You mean, do the work first, pass legislation - health care, economy, infrastructure - eat your dinner first, then you can have your dessert? The impeachment?”
“Isn’t that what I said?” she paused only briefly to say, before carrying a basket on to the laundry room.
I watched Trevor Noah last night, and even he took a lot longer than that to basically come to the same conclusion.
This whole thing caused me to pause, and think maybe I’m the wrong Southold to be working up a 5 minute schtick for a comedy club.
Oh well, I’m still going to give it a try, although it may be my wife who first gets the invitation to appear on Colbert.
Central News Service, proudly bringing you the fakest news anywhere, featuring our very own Pulitzer Prize winning Fake Newsman, William Southold
(CNS Disclaimer: Mr. Southold has in no way won the Pulitzer Prize.)
(original image from Newsweek)