MY Passion...answering some questions about my art...Feeling vulnerable about it, but honest (and a series of paintings to illustrate)!)

in my2018 •  last year

Artwork Mobile, etc 003.jpg
Passion - to suffer for - I think I took the Latin meaning too seriously. I don't know why I feel this way about what I do. A push and pull attraction that fills me with joy and purpose half the time balanced with the complete and utter inability to create, the rest of the time. Fear, I suppose. I Just don't ever seem to know what I really want to paint...and what is it that I even DO?

I mush colored goop around with a stick of fibers and my fingers and let it dry in order to convey emotion for those that view to enjoy!

Phoenix Fire Dancer.jpg

This is a "hobby" that totally picked me. I showed talent from the age that I could hold a pencil and I have always felt the need to express myself through dance, singing, writing or visual art (visual art is definitely where all my talent resides, not so much in singing and such, though I wish! lol).

Art and I have an interesting on again off again kind of thing that has been going on my whole life. I am doing it more and more the older I get and I am learning what has blocked me from years of creative joy.

I am working through it, like an unfinished painting. It is a process and sometimes (most of the time in fact!) that doesn't look pretty. I am learning to persist.

Artwork Mobile, etc 044.jpg

I love this hobby because I am good at it and I hate it because I am good at it.

Not doing it causes me stress, and I have spent too much time not doing it. The internal struggle is challenging.

I am currently working on a daily routine to get into it more like a job than a hobby...I need things around me to be right and to have solitude to create but I also need socializing to feel inspired to create. I am realizing it is all just excuses. I need my art as much as it needs me....we would be nothing without each other.

DSCN0398.JPG I do this hobby by myself mostly, but I have started plans to begin teaching some classes and I share it with everybody.

I am at peace when I finally bring myself to create but it is fleeting as my life is demanding. Art is not priority, but comes in right behind family and it should be part of my own self-care regimen cuz it is just so good for me!

It could be expensive but I get given art supplies from people because they want me to put it to good use. Finances are one of my excuses why I don't do it enough. I need to sacrifice my social life to find time and all material desires to afford being an undiscovered artist.

Aquila's Nebula.jpg

I am at level adept, I suppose, but could definitely be pro. I have the crude skills but I desperately need to practice and establish my personal voice and more of a unique style. More equipment would be better, but not necessary.

I am trying to make it my full time thing but I am a work at home mom and loving every moment of it, it really helps me to understand how important just BEING in this moment IS!


An alien would think, "What is all this confusion and stress all about?! JUST PAINT ALREADY(or draw....whatever, and get over yourself....)!" :)

Drawings 002.jpg

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