My 2018 - This is my Hobby: Kuk Sool Won

Good afternoon fellow Steemians!

I have fell upon a marvelous competition, https://steemit.com/contest/@anomadsoul/contest-my-2018-this-is-my-hobby-or-100-sbd-in-prizes, that inspired me to write a little more about my hobby, my passion, Kuk Sool.

I have written about Kuk Sool in my previous blogs, but this time I get to talk about it a little more personally. And at the same time, you get to know a little bit more about myself.

The Start

I came upon Kuk Sool when I was looking for some extra curricular activities for my son that is non competitive. My husband brought him most of the time and eventually he enrolled himself as well. Then after some time I jumped in.

At first I really felt out of place. No longer being fit and had gained too many extra pounds, I felt like this was something I wouldn't be able to achieve. It has always been a big dream of mine to learn martial arts and I was finally given the chance, so the big question was: Should I drop everything and continue being the slouching mom with nothing to gain or should I press on and prove to myself that I am just as worthy as the next person?

I had a few ups and downs and although I did almost quit after dislocating my shoulder from doing a move completely wrong, the Kuk Sool family encouraged me to stay. And that is what I like the most about the dojo I attend. Everyone there is family, we look out for each other and we understand each other.

The Struggle

I can't get everything perfect. I am not a sporty kind of person even when I was thin. I mean, I do enjoy baseball but I was never the type to go for a run, lift weights and all of the sorts.
When it came to learning how to properly fall so not to get hurt, if someone were to push you, throw you down etc, I felt at a disadvantage and I still do. The first few times I tried the one where I have to roll is the time I dislocated my shoulder. I have always felt uncomfortable to do it as after rolling, I gotta stand back up, use the momentum. But being heavy, I never had much of that momentum to get up.
The other parts where I struggled most where when I do certain kicks as I lose my balance a lot and the choreographies. Now for the choreographies my struggle was following everyone else. Although this time its not because I am bigger. It is because when I see other people doing it, I get all mixed up and confused at what I am doing.. Silly brain. People think I'm funny, laugh when I lose my balance. It's ok, I laugh too.

The Love

I love Kuk Sool. It keeps me going strong. It is always a challenge and that is what keeps me interested. I am challenged to learn new things, challenged to keep going when I'm tired out and I challenge myself to get better at it and be able to perfect it. I love the precision that is needed for the techniques, the speed of reflexes, the constant learning of everything, even the human body. On the plus side, I get to learn how to use different weapons. So far the short sword and the staff, but there are still many others included like the cane, the fans, and some I don't even know the names of yet as I have never seen them before.

The Fight

The fight is huge! I have to keep on top of things while still having to remember the earlier things I have learned and still having to perfect them while learning new things to advance. I have to fight with myself everyday to motivate me to practice, to tell myself that I can do this and that my weight is not the obstacle, but that my mind is. I've recently learned that the mind is the only thing blocking me in achieving. I recently passed my evaluation to gain my blue belt, and within that evaluation, I was given a speed test to see if I could protect myself if I were to be attacked randomly on the streets. The results: I was better at my techniques going fast, than if I were to go slowly to perfectly apply my techniques. Meaning that I have good muscle memory. If I stop to think, my brain creates the block, if I let myself go and let my body move, I am free and there is no blockage.

My Goal

One day I want to be able to not just have Kuk Sool for self defense but to have it as an art. Where my core is solid and strong, my moves can be solid and parallel. Where I can be balanced and on point and meditate with my movements slowly and not fear of falling.
Kuk Sool is peaceful and it has the perfect mind set if it is applied the same way as the monks have done it.
Right now, my only obstacle in achieving this goal is my fitness, I have to create that solid core, my injury to my ankle; I have had it since January and is very slow healing, it slows me down for my kicks and choreography. Time is also an obstacle as I cannot become a black belt in a day and perhaps one day will be the funds to continue on. Once one becomes a black belt, the prices start skyrocketing.

I have been practicing this form of martial arts since 2016, I have given up a lot of the things I enjoy since I became a mother, but this is one thing I know for sure that I will not give up.

This is my Doh Buk that I wear with pride. It makes me feel a part of something with great history and within myself, I am making history. This is my hobby and my passion.

Thank you @anomadsoul for giving me the chance to be part of your awesome contest. I apologize for the poor quality of the pictures and for the area. My sun room is currently undergoing some renovations :)

Kamsa-Hamnida!