It’s been getting cold down here in the Lone Star State for the first time in like five years. Rainy, cozy, don’t make me get out of bed-weather, mixed with my bi-annual appointment for my allergies to stomp me into the dirt, had me watching a bunch of movies recently. I didn’t see anything that I felt strongly enough about to write a whole blog about so I figured I’d give a quick rundown on a bunch of movies.

A Star is Born

The first half of A Star is Born was really good, but it floundered in the second half. I just didn’t feel the chemistry between Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. There’s an age difference, but not an unreasonable one, but Bradley Cooper’s character acted 50 years older than he was, which made the age difference weird. Plus, he was a kind of Rock/Blues legend from yesteryear, which he did an amazing job at but, His fans and his sold-out stadium concerts were full of young people that wasn’t realistic. You aren’t going to see millennials piling into a Steppenwolf concert by the thousands. Gaga started out as this coffee house singer/songwriter, which was cool and she did a great job at it, but then once she gets famous, she turns into a watered-down Lady Gaga with no explanation why. That added to the overall sense that the characters really didn’t have anything in common. I felt like Gaga was trying to hard and Cooper was trying too hard to channel his inner Chris Christopherson. I took my mom to go see it when she came to visit recently and she said it was better than the original. Andrew Dice Clay did a great job as Gaga’s father. Sam Eliot did an even better job as Bradley Cooper’s brother. It’s worth watching. You’ll be tapping your feet in the middle and crying at the end. I just think they missed an opportunity to really make the flick epic.

Destination Wedding

I refused to watch this movie several times based on the title alone but it got turned on while I wasn’t looking and accidentally got sucked into it. Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder play two miserable fucks that meet at a wedding neither of them wants to be at and they spend the entire movie complaining. I mean that literally. They are the only two people in the movie with dialogue. It’s just 90 minutes of them talking to each other in various locations. The weird part is, I loved it. I normally don’t like movies about miserable people but they were both very relatable in their misery, plus they were witty and funny about it. The dialogue comes at a machine gun pace. The main criticism I read about the film was how the lines were delivered so fast that it felt empty and forced. They aren’t wrong. I just didn’t care. The best way I could describe Destination Wedding is: Quentin Tarantino writes the dialogue for an hour and a half long episode of The Gilmore Girls. If you are looking for a fun little popcorn flick, give Destination Wedding a look

Love, Simon

Love, Simon is a high school coming of age movie about a popular kid who is secretly gay who gets an internet pen-pal who is also secretly gay. The writing is good. The acting is good. Even though they use every single high school movie trope that exists (embarrassing lunchroom scene, high school party, nerds, jocks, bullies), it never “feels” like your typical high school movie because all the characters are so genuine. Love, Simon is a great little feel good flick. My dad is SUPER Catholic and he goes on Catholic movie review sites to be told what he’s supposed to think about movies instead of thinking for himself. I was curious what they had to say about Love, Simon because it was wholesome as fuck. It was pretty sad. All the reviews were like, “Wow, this movie was refreshingly wholesome that shows a loving family and teaches many good lessons about life. It’s too bad all the characters are going to Hell and so will you if you watch it.”

Equalizer 2

Pretty much the same movie as Equalizer 1. You know you can’t ever go wrong with some Denzel, but the whole time I was thinking the same thing I was thinking during Equalizer 1: I know this guy is the hero, but you could very easily make the case that he’s a serial killer.

The Predator

I was hoping for a little more since the nerdy soldier from the original Predator movie wrote and directed it, but It was a decent enough flick.

The Meg

I have no problem with cheeseball action, especially if Jason Statham is doing it, but The Meg fell flat. I was hoping for some over the top carnage but most of the movie was a couple people chasing a shark around in circles in the middle of the ocean for two hours.

The Spy Who Dumped Me

This movie was just the right amount of humor, action, and corniness. There have been too many movies lately where they try to shoehorn women into traditionally male roles and instead of being empowering to women it’s just offensive to everyone. The Spy Who Dumped Me got it right. It was just a good, fun, fish out of water, buddy action movie with a lot of jokes.

Sicario: Day of the Soldado

I liked the first Sicario movie but I felt like it meandered a little too much. I was hoping they'd fix that for the sequel but they wound up taking everything they did wrong with the first movie and making a whole movie out of it.

Upgrade

Upgrade is a Netflix original sci-fi movie about a guy who gets paralyzed after some thugs murder his wife and shoots him. A tech genius Elon Musk type dude puts an implant in his body that helps him walk again. The implant is also a sentient computer program that helps him track down his wife's killers. It's pretty low budget, which is a tough sell as far as sci-fi movies go but whoever made this movie pulled it off with good acting and a solid script. I highly recommend Upgrade if you are looking for something fresh to watch.

Agree? Disagree?

Ya'll seen anything good lately?