Gwyneth Paltrow - EPIC RAP REVIEW!

in moviereview •  3 years ago 

Intro:

Hey Gwenyth, just wanted to check in, maybe mention a couple of things.
Like, you know... How much I fucking hate you.

Verse 1:

There ain't much in this world,
that inspires this much hate.
But the features of your face,
make me wish for prison rape.

If ugly was an sport,
you'd be Olympian.
Your skin's about as good,
as Monty Burns from the Simpsons

Hal wasn't shallow, I'd
have given you the boot,
Even if you had big tits,
and minus the fat suit!

You're not beautiful,
inside or outside.
You'd never be a star,
If it weren't for your fucken family ties!

Chorus:

I hope that you die,
I hope that it's soon,
I hope that it hurts,
And that they play this tune.

I want you to die,
And I want you to know...
Fuck you Gwyneth Paltrow.

Verse 2:

Was the casting couch a trial,
with that tiny little rack?
In both worlds in Sliding Doors,
you're a hunched anemiac.

And why the fucking hell,
would Shakespeare fall in love?
Once he got a geezer at,
your weird albino muff?

We'd never procreate,
if we were both marooned.
I'd rather wank with sand,
and dig my eyes out with a spoon.

I'm fucken flabbergasted,
that you've attracted stalkers.
Did they see Shallow Hal,
and have a thing for ugly porkers? YEAH!

Bridge:

Shit voice...
Bad poise...

You have rat teeth and
I'm sure your breath stinks.

Hump backed...
Can't act...

Did you come from Notre Damme?

Thin lips
No hips

The best bit in Se7en's
when they cut your head off.

Lank Tart
Upstart

A Perfect Murder wasn't perfect,
coz it didn't end with you in a bag!

Chorus:

I hope that you die,
I hope that it's soon,
I hope that it hurts,
And that they play this tune.

I want you to die,
And I want you to know...
Fuck you Gwyneth Paltrow.

Verse 3:

No wonder Brad Pitt bailed.
You must have been a chore.
You're not even a match,
for the dude from Sliding Doors.

How did Tony Stark end up,
with you on his metal cock?
Did he think it was a drug,
when you offered Pepper Pots?

Would you be my Sky Captain,
of the World of Not Here?
And while you're fucking at it,
run with Scissors off a short pier!

Looking for a role?
Allow me to suggest.
They need albino waifs,
for the next Dan Brown snore-fest!

Chorus:

I hope that you die,
I hope that it's soon,
I hope that it hurts,
And that they play this tune.

Outro:

There, glad I got that off my chest.
Feels good to say it, you know?
I just wanted you to know.
Fuck you, Gwyneth Paltrow!

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