FEELING SAD AND DEPRESSED- AM CONFUSED (MY STORY)

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My name is Godswill, a 20years old boy living in Nigeria, I sit on my computer this day 1st June, 2018 writing this piece, not that am a good writer or something but am just writing this with a depressed and sad mind, today begins a new month, Yes am suppose to be happy, grateful for the privilege of seeing another new month but am not, I just look at everyday passing by as a life been wasted, sometimes i wonder if am cursed, I have to plead with you here do not mind some of my grammatical errors that would be made in this article, I never planned writing this at all but why this article you may ask, here is my sad story.

I am the eldest in my family, I have a father and mother, 3younger sisters and a younger brother, Yes indeed we may not be poor but to be honest I have always wanted to be self-independent, i never wanted a situation whereby i would be depending on someone to survive, i had always wanted a life where at a young age i could start earning some money and fending for myself, that was my dream, you may say Wow!!! 20years old you are still young and have a bright future ahead, Yes indeed i may but that really isnt the point of this article at all.

My life for the past five years have been slightly rough, back in 2013 while I was in SS 2 in secondary school, i decided to go online to see if i could earn legitimate money and begin to get little stipends to take care of myself, but that wasnt the case at all, instead of me earning i got scammed, the little money my parents were given me, i was scammed of it online then to buy a course which never produce any result, i thought to myself then "In Life you don't give up" so i pushed forward graduated from my secondary school in the year 2014 and entered the university in the year 2016, i don't know if to say Life has been wicked to me, I have borrowed money just to see if i could make it online, bought lots of ebooks since 2014 till last month (May, 2018) just to know avail, notwithstanding been scammed countless times, i sometimes feel life is just been unfair to me.

Nothing seems to work out in my favour, i see people achieve success in this same online business i have tried but i just wonder why my case is different, my question has been "am i cursed or something", what really is the problem with me, i have tried blogging (am not a good writer), affiliate marketing, CPA name it, i end up getting involved in this programs but nothing seems to work.

All this i have done just to be self-independent, been scammed to be self-dependent

My question is this "is it wrong to be self-reliance"

I have to end it here, don't know what else to say, probably hoping till the day i breathe my last breath on earth.