From a quarter to a dollar
If asked to state a single sentence regarding money, that truest sentence I know would be: I would rather earn twenty five cents ($.25) from my own work than a dollar($1.00) working for someone else.
Not obviously the .25 and 1.00 only represent the vast difference in earnings between what I can make on my own now vs working a job a dislike for it. (OK, so maybe it is more of a .05 to 5.00 but still)
If it’s only about the money, I would work my job plus overtime and smile away thinking of the bloated check and greenbacks and about paying the bills with a flick of my wrist.
But it’s not all about the money. It’s about how the money is earned. Forty plus hours a week devoted to another persons life and business is a slow death, one that wears your down day by day. Sure I collect a steady paycheck that allows me and my family food and shelter and to buy needless other non-essentials in life but at what price do I pay for this?
It is not an option now, to pursue writing full time, not with a family and mortgage and all that, but that doesn’t make the statement any less true. I think of this when I realize the massive amount of work that is needed to make a living as a writer. I imagine myself working four, five, six times harder to earn the same dollar I could but slacking off at my job for an hour.
And thats the mindset that will lead me there, to the land of self promises and dreams and realizations. It may not be today or tomorrow or ever for that matter, but the pursuit is worth its weight in Gold.
Sounds to me as if you are being guilty of the typical all or nothing syndrome.
First of all - you hate your job, but is it really as bad as you paint it? What if you tooka good look at what you do and try to imagine how it would be if you took pride in it and could contribute something more (not work hours, I mean ideas or quality of work).
If the answer is positive, it does not make your job the be and end all of life; it just means that while you are forced to work, you will not find it quite as empty of meaning as you do. Any job, even digging ditches, if you try to excel at it, becomes worth doing (sort of).
The next point: If you hate what you are doing and justify keeping on at it for your family, you could end up resenting your family. The odd quirky part of it is you would do so without first proving to yourself that you can write well enough to earn a living, even if not as well paying.
I started off by talking about the all or nothing attitude. Keep your job, but find those odd moments you are free and stop wasting them, concentrate on writing. Keep writing, story after story.
If you do, somewhere along the line you will realise you have talent or not. If yes, then you must make plans for giving more time to writing, even if not exclusively.
Let us imagine you have one hour each evening you could devote to writing (weekdays). That gives you 5 hours per week. Plus four hours per day on weekends. that comes to 13 hours per week. That is enough to prove yourself.
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I was lucky. I only started writing when things went wrong, my life crashed and I was stuck with nothing to do. Therefore, I am not critical of what you say, I am just trying to motivate you.
Thank you much for your thoughtful response, it is appreciated. Yeah I hate my job but really that lies more with past regret of wasting my life and ending up at a place like that. I never resent my family for what I must do. My decisions alone lead me here and I accept that.
Little by little I am pursuing more time to my writing. I wake up at 4:30 AM when the house is still quite. I write what I can on my lunch breaks and take notes in between the crazy active life of a toddler :-)
there are points of pride in my job. I know that to be true but find it difficult to keep up that can do attitude some days. But the more I focus my mind on writing then easier it it to take on the day.
Thank you again for taking the time to respond. I can use all the help and advice I can get my hands on.
For me it’s like:
I would rather earn twenty five cents ($.25) from my own work than a dollar($1.00) from convincing someone to click an ad.
yup, there is something satisfying in making even a small amount independently doing what we love. even if I only make enough to buy a book or donate to a worth cause. it will be worth it.