What You Do For A Living? (And Other Language Traps)

“What you do for a living?”

This is usually one of the first questions you get when you are meeting someone new. But this simple phrase hide a deeper meaning behind it, one that started to bother me. A lot.

We usually don’t value how much language shape our understanding of the world. There are several studies that have linked how language might be the epicenter of culture, that means that your understanding of the world around you comes from how you are thought about the world by language. Language created what we now know as culture by simply naming things.

Language also shapes your brain and how you interpret natural events around you. My favorite example of this is the Pirahã Tribe. They are a secluded tribe that lives in the amazon forest. What is amazing about them is that they have no concept of numbers or time. And that’s because of their language, that has no words for numbers and no verbal tenses for past or future. They only work in concepts like none, few and a lot for numbers or before and after for time. All of this shaped their memory and they don’t have long term memories at all. They can only recall things that happened a few days before and they don’t plan for the future as there are no concept of the future to be worried about. They live in the moment, in a forest version of extreme mindfulness. If you want to learn more about them, here’s a link for you.

“But, Marlucco. Why are you talking about native amazonian tribes?”, you might be asking.

Well, because we are just like them. Don’t matter where in the world you are reading this, you have your whole worldview shaped by your language. In the cliched version of this (and cliches work because they are true), this is why Germans are analytical, Latinos are easy going, Americans are practical. This might all be because of language: German is a logical language. Spanish and Portuguese are a lyrical and musical languages. English is a straightforward one.

And that’s why the phrase “what you do for a living” bothers me so much. As we are hearing that almost daily, we just don’t think much about it. We just reply with our jobs or titles. But in reality, what we really do for a living is:

Eat. Pray. Love. (No, I'm kidding)

Eat. Drink. Breath. Rest.

That’s it. There’s nothing much going on about being alive than this. But, when we reply that simple question with our jobs, we are connecting the act of staying alive with work and money. Which are two things that have nothing to do with the biological aspect of staying alive. And there lies my problem with this simple everyday exchange.
At some point, we started to connect monetary values - from having a job, to how much you have in the bank - to the actual act of being alive. The idea of, “if you don’t have a job, you’ll starve to death”. When in reality you just need food, water and air to stay alive. Look at the Pirahãs. They don’t even have time, and they are alive and kicking in the forest.

We are mirroring our “selves” to our job titles and how much monetary value we have and not in the values of the “selves” per se. Jobs and money are just a way for us to get easy and quality food, water and air, which we are even destroying those because we only think of how we can profit more in monetary value and we don’t think at all on natural value.

“But, Marlucco”, you might ask me again “I need to work to earn a living!”

“See, that’s another trap we created for ourselves”, I’ll reply to you. When you are born, you “earned your living”.

Everything after that is just you and your tribe trying to keep that going for as long as possible.

Think of it like this, if I gave you the chance of:

1. Being locked down in a safe with 1 BILLION DOLLARS in cash;
2. Being left alone in a perfect island with fresh water, edible vegetables and non feral animals

Which one would you choose? Which one would give the bigger odds of staying alive?

Since I started to understand this traps - and be completely annoyed by it - I started to answer the question differently. Now, every time someone asks me “What you do for a living?”, I reply with “I eat, drink, breath and sleep. But, if you mean how I rent my time or pay my bills, I’m a storyteller.”.

This usually throw people way of, but also opens up the possibility of a more personal conversation where we talk about what we actually do with our lives and our most valuable asset, time.

The whole point of being alive is not to make a profitable quarter for your company or being promoted before Greg does. If looking for the other millions of species on this planet is any indication of what the point of being alive is, we just need to be ok. Nourishing yourself with the best food and liquids you can find in the company of the best people and other beings of your choice. That’s it. Everything else we do, is a way for us to find better nourishment or people to share that with.

So that’s why for me “What you do for a living?” is such a trap that we created with our language. It makes us believe that we are just one thing, when in reality, that thing is just a way for us to get what we really need. Everyday I found out that the simple things of life are the better ones and the ones we’ll remember when we are old and grumpy (but not if you are a Pirahã, of course. Than you won’t remember last night’s supper!). It won’t be our bank balances in a given year or that time that Rhonda got the promotion you deserved. It will be those laughs around the table during dinner. Those kisses in the twilight. That sunrise at the beach with your family. And that is what you do for a good living.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me, “What you do for a living?”

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