My Vocal Companion

Mental Health is probably more important than physical health yet it rarely gets treated with the seriousness it requires. I've gone through life from not understanding mental health problems, to laughing at it, to realizing I have problems on my own, to having almost destroyed my life because of mental health neglect.

It doesn't take much at all to keep a clear head, but it needs constant practice. It should be among the core lessons teached to children, yet we only concentrate on factual lessons that ultimately have no meaning to one's life. How can something so important to me be of so little value to my parents and the schoolsystem that it's only lightly talked about in a few classes I attended.

How can someone ever develop a drive, find meaning in life if the only things thought are about pursuing some financial goals and some mysterious "fulfillment" that never gets defined. I'm 27 and I still don't know which way to take my life. I've wasted 6 years of my life on a degree I have no real interest in. Would it not have been better to have the schools concentrate on helping kids find their passion and what suits their personality?

It's really something, being "well" educated yet knowing nothing, lacking in motivation and having little work experience. Comparing myself to others is the worst I can do, yet I still do. It always gets me down. It's easy blaming everyone and hiding from the world beneath your terrible feelings. It's so easy in fact that it comes naturally. If depression would be a career, I'd be quite successful.

And this leads me to something I realized the other day.

I've been battling my thoughts for a long time, but up until that point I've always thought it's strictly a "wrong thoughts" phenomenon. But one's feelings play a big role too. Feeling depressed steers our thoughts do negative ones. It's easy thinking about negative things and if you've done it your whole life, it feels good, it's like an addiction: feeling sad makes you feel as if you are the victim and you deserve a good life, but it will never come. It's weird.
Despite the strong feelings, our minds hold the key out of this misery. As I've said before, it takes constant practice. "Where am I? Who am I? What have I got? What do I want to do? So why aren't I doing those things?"

I'm probably going to be a depressed person my whole life. But I don't have to let it define my life. I don't have to compare myself to other. I can choose not to dwell on the past and make up fairytales about the future all the time. Living in the present takes concentration and concentration takes a lot of practice and patience. Most of us aren't children anymore. No one is going to help us. We have be our own teachers and leaders.