I was an expert and mastered my memory like a machine. As a teenager I trained my brain to remember everything, without writing it down but somehow this method doesn't work anymore. 

I hate to create a to-do-list on my iPhone because I am simply not used to. I don't like to write on paper either. 

Image Source - click Image

I am looking at my mothers old but innocent face when she tries to remember her children's names and it makes me so sad how much she struggles to remember important things but not only a her .....

It's actually me who starts being more dement than her. 

These days I feel extremely overwhelmed that I still have to remember so many things, my mind can't handle. 

I am constantly trying to catch those lost french, italian, indonesian, english and even german words. Some just vanished and can't be found anymore. I was always great and quick to learn languages and never needed to make plans of my following week. 

My mind was perfect! I wonder if I really lost some brain cells, smoking too much weed in my youth.

I realised that forgetting is so much easier, even more fun but not when you constantly miss your dentist appointments. 

I ask myself many times, why my own memory is so bad, mostly about unpleasant things, happening in my life. It seems that my mind is only interested to know the good stuff and erase all those fights, struggles and crap, nobody needs to remember anyways.

Great article to read : 10 Tricks to boost your memory and remember anything.

My body and mind was like a "functioning" machine but a reboot would be really helpful at this point. 

It also became very hard for me to follow conversations because I can't hear a damn thing. 

I lost 50% of my hearing, probably listening to techno too much in my life. My work was mostly backstage or next to speakers or behind the Dj's safty zone. I find myself smiling at strangers in too loud places, when they talk and talk and talk ....

Do I actually need to hear all The Blah or is the sound of thousand other voices, that soothing vibration of music in my ears more valuable anyways? I've always been a very lousy and bad small talker and a "progressive introvert". Now I know! A One on One conversation is what I prefer. 

I might miss out on a lot of important stories but to be honest, I heard so many in my life through my job that it seems my ears went on strike on purpose. 

Silence and nature became my friends ....

Vienna vineyards at Kahlenberg

As I grow older, it seems I am not a "people person" anymore but now you know why. 

What is a people person? An outgoing, gregarious person with good communication skills. A person who enjoys or is particularly good at interacting with others."she's an extrovert, a real people person" - Source 

This beautiful poem by Joy Harjo, Poetry Foundation which I found in my email, inspired me to rethink how much and what we should remember.

"Remember the sky that you were born under, know each of the star’s stories.

Remember the moon, know who she is.

Remember the sun’s birth at dawn, that is the strongest point of time. Remember sundown and the giving away to night. 

Remember your birth, how your mother struggled to give you form and breath. You are evidence of her life, and her mother’s, and hers.

Remember your father. He is your life, also.

Remember the earth whose skin you are: red earth, black earth, yellow earth, white earth, brown earth, we are earth.

Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have their tribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them, listen to them. They are alive poems.

Remember the wind. Remember her voice. She knows the origin of this universe.

Remember you are all people and all people are you.

Remember you are this universe and this universe is you.

Remember all is in motion, is growing, is you.

Remember language comes from this.

Remember the dance language is, that life is. 

Remember."

Yours @mammasitta 

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