I Am Tired Of Selfish Sane Bullshit
They call it "survivor day." For people who suffered suicide loss.
Is there a survivor day for people who lost someone to cancer? Or AIDS? Or hepatitis? Or heart attack? Or car accidents?
Is there a survivor day for PEOPLE WHO SURVIVED A SUICIDE ATTEMPT?
There isn't, is there?
Because people treat suicide as a choice that hurts others, and ignores the hurt of the person who dies that way. It shames people who are mentally ill and treats their loved ones as victims. Nobody says "died of depression." They say "they killed themselves."
No, honey, MENTAL ILLNESS KILLED THEM.
Stop. Delegitimizing. Mental. Illness.
Stop. Shaming. People. Who. Are. Hurting.
Stop. Telling. Them. Their. Pain. Is. Selfish.
Do loved ones grieve, presuming they have any? Sure. But they grieve when people die of cancer, or car accidents, or heart attacks, and they don't get special days affirming their status as "hurt victim of that selfish sick person."
My grandma wasn't being selfish when she had a stroke and passed, and I grieved her, and don't blame her.
STOP BLAMING SUICIDE VICTIMS - you know, THE PEOPLE WHO ******DIED*******.
I guarantee you they thought the world would be better off without them, not "I'mma make them PAY!!!" That bullshit fantasy stigma has got to STOP. People don't off themselves as revenge. Do you know what it takes to try and kill yourself??! Your. Brain. Shuts. The fuck. Off. All your instincts turn OFF. If you don't die fast enough, those instincts kick back in, and you suddenly want to live more than you have ever wanted to live before or since, and you try and save yourself. That's why I'm alive. Pills took too long.
A healthy-brained person in no pain doesn't think, my mommy is a bitch and I'll make her sorry she yelled at me, and hangs themselves. That's not how it works.
I'm not speaking about murder-suicides, I'm speaking about suicides. Two. Very. Different. Things. The thought "fuck that bitch I'm going to go kill her and the kids" =/= "I am so worthless, they'd all be better off without me."
STOP STIGMATIZING AND BLAMING THE ACTUAL VICTIMS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND AND YOUR BRAIN UNDERSTANDS THINGS LIKE REVENGE AND UNCARING AND NOT UTTER SELF HATRED, HOPELESSNESS AND PAIN. YOUR BRAIN IS HEALTHY. OURS IS NOT.
Basically, a rule of thumb is:
If you wouldn't say, "Why did my selfish loved one get cancer and die??! Why didn't they think about ME?!"
Then don't say, "Why did my selfish loved one get depression/PTSD/bipolar/etc. and die??! Why didn't they think about ME?!"
Oh, look - I googled it to see if there are other "survivor days."
Guess what? There's a survivor day for PEOPLE WHO HAD CANCER AND SURVIVED.
You know - the sick person.
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Thank you :)
All these DAY's are a commercial money making scheme. To someone who has lost someone every day they remember. I a fed up with this day that day and all this rubbish!
I've never heard of these survivor days. I agree, it seems like a bad idea for all kinds of reasons, not the least of which because you are memorializing the departed at their point of greatest suffering and sadness. That is not the way to honor someone who has died of a terrible disease.
Sorry for what you've gone through but I'm glad you're still with us.
Thank you. But the "survivor days" I saw being advertised by ostensibly suicide prevention groups isn't memorializing the dead; it's a support day for the loved ones left behind. Which, for clarity, I'm not saying there are never loved ones left behind who grieve, but it makes it a hierarchy of grief, like, somehow that's a worse grief, a personal attack on you the not sick person, whereas if your loved one died from a stroke, well that's nobody's fault.
Ah, I see - I thought it was something observed on the anniversary of a loved one's death. A generalized survivor day for everyone seems troubling for different reasons. As you say, we don't have a day for people whose loved ones die of cancer or auto accidents. It would be kind of like saying, "those poor suckers, I'm glad it wasn't me..."
I'd almost be a little more open to it if the day was about suicide prevention - reaching out to people who are hurting, making it clear you've available to listen or help someone in need. But a concentrated effort of everyone doing that on just one day is wrong, too. Really these are the sorts of efforts (and resources) that should be in place across a whole community, and not just one day a year.
So true
I can sense your outrage permeating from every line written.
You are absolutely correct to point out the hypocrisy. Some people do not understand. Either they cannot or they choose not to. Perhaps both.
I am not entirely clear about whether you are calling for a survivor day to be established or if you think such is insulting. Was there recent news on such?
Incidentally, if you happen to know somebody who is hurting, I did write something a while back that might be helpful to him or her (feel free to pass it on accordingly if you feel its worth spreading).
I am not calling for a day to be established; I am calling the already-established day I saw advertised as insulting to the mentally ill and painting their loved ones as the true victims at their hands.
I have never gotten to the point where I actually attempted suicide, but I have been far enough down in the well of dispair to give it serious thought. I understand exactly what you are saying here.
A friend of mine jumped off a bridge in the Seattle area on Christmas eve 2 years ago. It was not her first attempt.
I see a shrink at the local V.A. hospital for my depression and anxiety issues. Some people don't have access to mental health care, and it shouldn't be that way in a so called "first world country".
Resteemed
@originalworks
I totally agree. Even if people have insurance, it's treated as a separate entity with limits on the number of visits (as though you can cure depression or PTSD with 12 easy therapy appointments!) and higher premiums and whatnot, if it's covered at all. Rather like how eye care and dental are treated as somehow magically different too.
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Were you here a couple of months ago when Laura Lemons committed suicide? The outpouring of love, grief, and non-judgment from the Steemit community was really amazing to me. There were probably a few people who showed their lack of understanding with the typical "weak" and "selfish" comments, but they were utterly drowned out by the rest. However screwed up the rest of the world may still be, our little creative community gives me hope that it doesn't have to stay that way.
No, I didn't see that. That's good to hear. I hope that indeed attitudes are changing.
There seems to be a day for just about everything now, it's getting a bit ridiculous!
I suppose grief for someone who's lost a loved one to suicide might be a bit harder in the way that they would have felt they failed that loved one, so maybe more guilt there. I also suppose if you've never reached a point of considering suicide then maybe you could see it as selfish, but let's be honest, it's a bit of a reach.
My admiration goes more to the ones that survived suicide themselves and found a way to fight their way back. So well done!
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