"My therapist said I am fat because I am married! What?!! Is it true? please advice me."


Nomad,

I am worried about being overweight. I am depressed because I feel that I do not exercise enough discipline in following diets. Recently I visited a psychologist who told me that my marriage might somehow be part of the problem. After hearing that I became afraid that I might discover within myself the buried impulse to physically harm my husband or to break up the marriage. I think that I, being overweight, hide some unfortunate impulse. What do you think?

J. A.


(Disclaimer: Parts of the question, related to the relationship between the woman and her husband, were omitted for technical reasons).

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Image: http://www.adeevee.com/


J.A,

Actually, your condition hides the primary impulse to communicate better with your husband, to ask him for a definite expression of love. You constantly scold yourself: "why doesn't he love me as much as I love him?" You think it's because you are overweight, after all, your husband always makes adverse remarks about your excess of weight.

Your husband, for his part, can not express his love for you in the terms you wish, for he believes that women would, if allowed, destroy man's freedom and he interprets the natural need for love as an unfortunate emotional demand. Both of you believe that women are inferior and quite unknowingly it is evident that you follow a Freudian dogma.

Your husband often denies his personal impulses as well. Sometimes he is not even aware of them as far as they involve the expression of affection or love for you, his wife.

It is vital to understand that in those areas where you cut down on your impulses, on their very recognition, you close down probabilities of existence, and prevent new beneficial acts that would be enough to lead you out of your difficulty, including you being overweight.

The mere choice to get your body back in balance creates tracks along which it will manifest. Many people, however, are caught in certain dogmatic and stereotyped ways of trying to bring about balance (like "I have to do diets") and they therefore reject or become unaware of the genuine ways that the natural self provides!

In your situation, it would be appropriate to examine your beliefs of the sort just mentioned and act upon any new discoveries. Difficulties following your impulses (like expressing love for your husband) should be dealt with mainly by retraining the ego, something I have written a lot about.

Do read as well my post: "Consciousness, health, and excess of weight – How can I be loved if I suffer from health issues?"

Good luck!.




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