A Pattern for Courtship

Hello steemians... Well, lately I've been doing a lot of thinking on the idea of a Perfect Partnership. Is there anything like it? What is it like and also, what are the steps to achieve it. Then I realised that a Perfect Partnership stems from a Perfect Courtship. Before a couple can achieve success in marriage, there needs to be a strong foundation of friendship built over time to ensure a lasting relationship. Therefore, we'll be discussing courtship and everything before and after courtship.

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First of all, what is courtship? To me, Courtship is that period during which an unmarried couple become personally and intimately acquainted with each other. It is a period of special friendship. It is the period during which final decisions are made for or against marriage.

Courtship is an interesting period, a romantic period, a period of comradeship. It is also a most important period in terms of the lives of the lovers, not only because of the long-range importance of the decisions being made, but because of the mold which is being placed on their friendship. If the friendship continues on into married life, the habits, customs and attitudes established during courtship will set the pace for the personal relations of later life.

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During courtship a young man and a young woman reserve their special attentions for each other. This monopoly of each other's affections is the fundamental premise of courtship. Courtship thus provides a demonstration of whether the young man and woman find it mutually agreeable to forgo the special friendships of others. It is during this period of courtship that the background develops which enables the lovers to decide on the advisability of their taking the solemn vows of marriage.

Prior to courtship, they have both been attracted to each other, largely on the basis of casual observations. They may have admired each other, somewhat secretly, for a longer or a shorter period. But this admiration is based on chance meetings and casual conversations rather than on firsthand knowledge of each other's personalities.

In a typical case, the young man has gone out of his way to indicate to the young lady that he admires her. She reciprocates with smiles of approval and subtle gestures which give him the assurance that she welcomes his attentions. They go on occasional "dates" and casual meetings, but no agreements by which either has the basis to claim the sole right to the attentions of the other.

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The young couple may begin their courtship even before they are actually engaged to be married. In fact, it is desirable that their friendship should continue on the basis of a general understanding for a period of time before the young man finally "pops the question." This preliminary period of courtship permits the development of such an insight into each other's personality that the young man will know whether he actually desires this young lady to be his wife. And it will permit her to make a deliberate decision so that she can have her answer ready when her suitor does make his proposal of marriage. The early part of courtship is, therefore, a period during which the couple are asking themselves, How do we like each other?

The early part of courtship is a period in which there should be an experiencing and demonstration of common interests. The time spent together should not be limited to formal social occasions or to dress-up occasions but should include a fair portion of informal everyday settings. It is only on the strength of informal everyday association that a young man and woman can properly judge each other in terms of practical living.

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Courtship provides an opportunity for determining whether companionship may be sustained over a period of time without it becoming or boring or repulsive. If the initial attraction of a young man to to a young lady is dependent on nothing more stable than romance and sentiments, the friendship is not likely to endure a period of courtship in which emphasis is placed on the practical nature of life. If it develops that the friendship is so fragile that it depends chiefly on romantic attitudes and sentimental relationship, it should properly be terminated during the courtship period rather than be tolerated through a period of engagement and eventual marriage.

It is recognized that engagements should not be entered into lightly. It is also recognized that the breaking of an engagement is a most unpleasant circumstance and remains as a source of regret. Better to break an engagement than to continue into matrimony with the wrong person.

What constitutes a sufficient reason for breaking an engagement? Under what circumstances should a couple reconsider their promises to marry?

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Whenever circumstances develop that modify the essential conditions under which the engagement was reached, such a couple has adequate basis for reconsidering their plans to marry.

Vivacious young couples tend to consider courtship too lightly. It is true that courtship should provide numerous good times. Its total experience should be thrilling. But, fundamentally, courtship is a definite preparation for marriage. The policies which a young couple agree upon during their courtship have a very definite bearing on the success of their eventual marriage. The sacredness of the marriage bond has its beginning in the mutual respect and deference which a young couple learn to exchange during their courtship. Courtship is not a trial marriage but it is final step toward marriage, and therefore constitutes the most important preparation for marriage.

Thanks for reading....

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