WOULD YOU BE YOUR Valentine?

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Life has a beautiful way of reaching into us and teaching wondrous lessons, EVERY chance it gets - it's LIFE's way of communicating with us and aligning us I think.

I use the term LIFE very loosely here ;)

Recently there have been quite a few of these moments - some like Tsunami waves, some like gentle breeze - the profundity undiluted nonetheless.

I have been reflecting on this notion of Self Love a LOT lately. Partly because it is the topic of a workshop I will be DELIVERING on Valentine's Day, and partly because life set me up to get very intimate with the topic of late (most likely to prepare me for the best delivery of the topic!).

I broached the topic of self love and described my understanding of it the best I could with words in a previous post on how self love relates to environmental care - but I felt like there was more to explore.

As I was creating my slides and visuals I tried to depict pictorially what I felt, realised and "saw" within.

It's still hard - and conceptual - but it is my thoughts and concepts - so I guess it doesn't have to be a particular shade of RIGHT - just what it is.

Truth is – we weren’t born needing to learn SELF LOVE. We did just fine. We cried when we were uncomfortable, smiled/laughed for no “reason” other than it’s FUN and we accepted everyone and everything equally.

The TABULA RASA – we did not yet have an identity. With Identity comes ideas, beliefs and values. These ideas, beliefs and values that FORM our CORE often need to be in ORDER and CONCUR with the WORLD we experience.

Nothing wrong with that. It is perfectly NATURAL and helps us navigate the nitty gritties of LIFE rather quickly and efficiently.

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The real problem lies in the notion that WE NEED the outside world to concur with our identity’s values, ideas and beliefs so that we can feel GOOD. So that we can feel validated, appreciated and sanctified to be US – the US we identify with and want to project consistently out TO the world.

One could just drop the identity all together – and we wouldn’t need to do the tedious task of having to constantly check with the outside world. BUT we find it hard to navigate completely without an IDENTITY – as some sort of FORMLESS being 😉

So, we hold onto the IDENTITY. And that too is NOT at ALL an issue – at least not until there is a dissonance between the outside and the inside. Worse yet – when we look to the outside to fix that dissonance.

In other words – if we think of ourselves as say an animal activist – then we have certain values – we feel better about ourselves when our activism actions are in accordance with these values and are corroborated and approved by the world. It adds value to our existing notion of SELF.

Some of us don’t really care - NOT until we get accused of being CRUEL. Then something stirs up. We might feel an emotion, an irritation, an urge to say something – or sometimes we just walk away. There are two ways of walking away – completely unaffected – or telling ourselves we SHOULD be unaffected because WE KNOW ourselves and don’t need to prove it to anyone.

Well – the second unfortunately just negated itself by requiring a rather lengthy justification process – which means we WERE affected – and the first order of business would be to accept that we had such a reaction. It is only normal. If we could forgive ourselves and move on – the story ends there. But if we decide to probe further – we might find WHY we reacted and perhaps gain better understanding of ourselves and reduce and eventually prevent future reactions.

The notion that we even need to run a reasoning for it simply means – we are slapping silence on the dissonance – sure it comes from a space of understanding, higher order cognition and some would even say WISDOM. But, if we are willing to look closer – we will recognise that the CORE was shaken because we needed the core to be reinforced.

Again back to this whole idea of keeping an identity going.

What if there was a different approach to this whole identity thing.

What if we loved ourselves just the way we are, despite our values, beliefs, ideas, rights, wrongs etc …. Then what would happen? When we become so open and inclusive within ourselves – WE CAN’T HELP but be inclusive to ALL that we experience. We not just love ourselves – we become that embodiment of LOVE. Our SELF – or identity expands to include ALL, and funnily transforms from ME to WE/US.

Here – there is nothing we need from the outside to corroborate on the inside – there is no ME and my values and beliefs that make up MY IDENTITY. No comparison, no judgement to compute or evaluate.

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Our tank is FULL we are fulfilled, we STOP seeking from the outside. We FREE ourselves to SEE from the fullness of life, FEEL from the security of love, PERCEIVE from the absence of judgement, THINK from a sense of abundance and ACT from kindness and support.

To a large extent – the actions, words and thoughts are already existent within EACH and EVERY one of us. We carry ourselves well, until communication somehow creates ambiguity and starts casting a shadow on this clear sense of SELF. Then we need to step up our actions, or words, or think more clearly. We try to become more of the PERFECT sense of who we want the world to see. It becomes stressful being US.

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We become engrossed in constantly showing the outside world we are US – we forget to truly CARE for ourselves.

If only we would remember INSIDE – we are loved, worthy and wholesome. Remember that we are NOT in competition with ourselves or anyone outside. Remember that we are FREE to be at peace.

What if it is from this peace and tranquility that we start to MOVE in this world; our steps would be different, our walk would be different, our journey for the day would be different.

In leaving the BURDEN of the NEED to have our IDENTITY validated and approved – ALLOWS us be MORE "US" than ever before.

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How do we release the BURDEN? How do we come to this complete FREEDOM?

We start by first approving of our BODY, MIND and SOUL. We start by affirming that our BODY, MIND and SOUL matter. We care for our BODY, MIND and SOUL like we would our own child. We stay committed to our BODY, MIND and SOUL to love, cherish and behold no matter what. We show up for ourselves.

When we start off each day with this, we begin by experiencing fulfillment, acceptance, gratitude, abundance and joy within. Soon, all that is FALSE FADES away. Leaving us with just PURE essence – FREE to roam and experience.

There is no fear, no lacking, no harm, no competition.

Don't worry, we don’t suddenly become walking fools. We walk with greater confidence, courage, surety, care and determination – our dedication to a sense of well-being naturally EXTENDS to EVERYTHING – in the decisions we make for ourselves and those around us. It’s a natural flow of choices out of love.

Like any new skill, recipe or art – it takes a little practice; and it gets better each time we OFFER this to ourselves - becoming our OWN deliverance of providence and love!

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So this Valentine's Day would you be YOUR VALENTINE?

1. Would you have and hold yourself to higher standards of self love and self care?
2. Would you be willing to pick one wellness goal to help yourself along this Valentine's Day and stick to it?
3. Would you be committed to keeping this up till the end of the month?

I have nothing to incentivise you with - OTHER THAN THAT YOU MATTER!

And I would like nothing more than to create some self care awareness here on this STEEMIT platform and my surrounding community.

Please bear with me as this came to me a little after thought. So here goes ...

STEEMIT ENTRY:

1. FOLLOW STEPS 1 - 3 ABOVE
2. CREATE A POST WITH #MEMYVALENTINE
3. Share YOUR VALENTINE'S Love for Yourself on STEEMIT

If you tag me - I WOULD be ELATED and come around to spread some of my @kchitrah brand of love & my heartfelt VOTE!

But don't do it for ANYONE else. Do it for YOU.

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

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