"It takes two to speak the truth, one to speak AND ANOTHER TO HEAR." (Henry David Thoreau)

in love •  2 years ago

The word 'threshold' is an important one for humans.

Its two primary definitions are:

  1. a doorway, gateway, portal... something that is walked through.

  2. the intensity that must be exceeded for a certain result or condition to occur... a rate or level at which something comes into effect.

As we live, and pour ourselves into each day, there are things we'd like to happen. There are results and conditions we hope will occur. The tipping point -- the line that divides "not yet" and "here you are" -- is threshold. Why care about this? Because...

...moving from dormancy to dynamism is exciting stuff!

What, exactly, does it take to EXCEED INTENSITY? Most folks give a pass on intense, let alone exceeding intense. Yet that is what is required to cross a threshold. Exceeding intensity commands my respect, and admiration. The inertia and dense resistance that must be DEFIED is noteworthy. But, usually, there is not a note-taker.

The power of a witness.

A witness is more than an onlooker or spectator. A witness is also evidence and proof of something. That role is an active one. So active, that it actually CONTRIBUTES TO THE MAKING of whatever is being witnessed. In this way, the highest form of conversation, is co-creation.

Singers and musicians talk often about the energy they receive from their audience. The attention feeds and vitalizes them. They, in turn, give a more robust performance. It is a satisfying loop. But what if you don't have a stage, or fame?

If a selfie is shared, but no one sees it, does its existence have real worth? If a story is told, or a song is sung, but no one hears it, is the story or song full and complete? A receiver, or observer, is needed.

When you have access to a caring and capable witness, what kinds of things are typically talked about at deeper levels? The presumption might be that life news, mirrors mainstream news, and so is probably negative and traumatic for the most part.

But there are actually a lot SUCCESSES to be shared.

It's a good practice to celebrate our victories, but I think we feel conflicted with messaging to remain humble, and never brag, or toot one's own horn. It's sad how often confidence or healthy self-esteem is mistaken for narcissism and arrogance simply because an impoverished sense of self has become normative.

Our natural, non-distorted self starts off strong and hearty, able to face challenges without immediately cowering in fear, or looking for an external authority to handle our situations for us. You are mature, responsible and exceedingly capable of:

  • Rising out of debt.
  • Shedding fat that once hid your true form and fitness.
  • Raising your children with peace, joy and respect (true revolution, right der!)
  • Eating food that causes you no moral or gastrointestinal stress.
  • Releasing people and projects that make you feel like crap.
  • Increasing people and projects that make you feel like the glorious cosmic wonder that YOU ARE! (Seriously, such beholders exist! There's no good reason to accept drag-me-downs in your close proximity. Be loyal to your own well-being.)
  • Acting on the economic, banking and taxation truths you have learned.
  • Learning new ways to strengthen your sovereignty (could be gardening, green tea, or a gun).
  • Mastering old ways to share your sovereignty (things you've honed may be ready to be offered in the form of mentorship, art or agorism.)

These are MAJOR THRESHOLDS, and they deserve pause and reflection! Some applause and recognition... if for no other reason than to signify to your subconscious that you have crossed X. Without that anchoring, it's surprisingly easy to slip back to pre-threshold behavior. But relapses are avoidable, by reinforcing the post-threshold person you've become. A witness helps seal that in.

Shadows and shame lose power through disclosure.

And, yes, in addition to the great, victorious stuff, there is plenty of undesirable stuff, that gets released in a Lavish Listening session with me. We're often very repressed about the darker things. Lips tighter than a sphincter. Determined to not 'go there...' which is precisely where we need to go! But usually don't feel equipped. Plus, ENDLESS distraction abounds... so why get deep or emo, when you can just avoid and deny?

Well, silence holds shame and fear in place.

In-tact shame and fear makes the acquisition of personal freedom FUTILE. We will always be in our own way, wasting time with self-defeating patterns that we can't even see because shame and fear vests us in our own blindness! Those inner culprits actually make us LOOK AWAY from higher virtues like truth, freedom and love because those virtues disrupt infantile dependence... on an immoral state, an abusive lover, a destructive addiction, you-name-the-oppressor. Higher virtues bring about a reckoning. And babies and cowards don't like reckonings.

Hence, the locked, sphinctered-lips.

But voicing the very thing we find mortifying, humiliating, or impossible to integrate deflates and weakens it. Each telling makes it smaller and smaller, until our hugest boogie man, becomes a manageable pup we either train... or give away :-)

Shame and fear CONVINCES you that you are small. And wrong. And alone. It drains so much personal power, yet can be dissolved with a single utterance. But it's up to you to utter. I am here to help you empty your heart... and make space for the fresh and new.

Though nonphysical, Lavish Listening shares a similar intent as this:

Professional cuddling is a response to skin hunger.

Lavish Listening is a response to heart hunger.


My role in people's lives has always been catalytic. My presence interacts with yours in a way that stirs life. I used to downplay this, and be reluctant to name and claim my gift. But false modesty serves no one. If you can be a surrogate sun in someone's life, you are encouraged to shine. Not hide behind clouds. Those passive days of waiting for someone else to do the Weird Work are over.

In addition to passionately hearing folks out, I'm also curious about using language as a catalytic + restorative liberation technology (using words to make universal keys, instead of invisible chains). I call it word alchemy, and am experimenting with that here on Steemit. If you like this sort of oddly flavored thing, add me to your feed: @erikaharris. Your time and attention is precious, so thanks for sharing a lil' of it with me. And if YOU feel in need of some attention, do consider my Lavish Listening service.

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YES @erikaharris and hallelujah!!

Wow, you're as good at writing as you are at listening! So glad I got a chance to be catalyzed by you! Your review will be up tomorrow. :)

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@lesliestarrohara I can't even rightly say how much your review means to me! THANK YOU. I'm going to write a proper reply directly at your post, but want to thank you here, too. And also share the link for anyone seeing this comment, who might be interested:
https://steemit.com/life/@lesliestarrohara/be-heard-be-freed-get-yourself-a-soul-massage-with-lavish-listening-by-erikaharris

Great article!