Birthdays always make reflect. This year I kept asking myself "what's next?" "What are my new goals?".
My entire life I knew I wanted to be married with two kids. I always imagined I would have two little girls. ✅✅
I knew in my heart I would always marry Steve, he is my soulmate and makes me a better human. ✅
I knew I wanted to finish school. (I'll give that almost a full ✅ since I graduate in December).
My Dad always told me "PLAN YOUR WORK AND WORK YOUR PLAN."
My plan took longer than expected but it was a plan just the same and boy did I work at it!
❤️
Now what? After months of planning and stressing, I'll share with you what I have come up with.
Not having a plan makes me uncomfortable. I sat with that discomfort. Not having a plan makes me stressed. I analyzed that. Not knowing where my next step would or should be was upsetting. With all of these emotions, I allowed myself to truly feel them. I didn't mask them. I laid in bed next to my husband, with my two daughters asleep in their rooms and I processed all the angst. I grew to know myself very well. I know now this feelings of discomfort come from fear. Fear of letting people down- letting myself down. Fear of standing still when I should be moving forward. Fear of missing out on something. I don't even know what!
I finally realized that FEAR wasn't that scary. I've been scared before. I owned it! Why am I so afraid???
I got this!
So here is my truth. I'm 36 and I don't know what I'm going to "BE" in life. I'm okay with that because what I already am IS ENOUGH. Anything additional I'm considering a BONUS!