The runaway mum

Back in my younger days, I was always declared unfit by my sport teachers.

I would avoid anything that could make me look stupid- and since boys and girls weren’t separated then- that meant pretty much everything.

My family, weren’t the sporty type either. In fact, my dad was obese and we feasted on Schnitzel swimming in butter and German sausages.

It wasn’t until I came to Australia that my interest in physical movement got sparked. I started off my hiking and bushwalking, that’s how I met the father of the children.

As, we were exploring the Perth Hills and fascinated by the magical and monumental rocks, speckled around the area- my muscles would slowly grow and I first got a glimpse of the endorphins, that flow through your body after a good workout.

I then joined a gym and became vegetarian for 1 year. By that stage, I was super fit. But it didn’t take long for my love of bacon and booze to take over- and exercise was the last thing on my mind.

During my first pregnancy, I put on 25kg. After giving birth, I felt so unfit- and depressed. When my daughter, was about 5 months old, i’d chuck her on my back in her baby carrier- and conquer the hills once more. Those walks, became a daily occurrence and my body craved more challenges. So, I started running.

It soon would become my favourite time of the day. I’d crank up my iPhone with insane house and trance tunes- and run to my limits. Pushing daily barriers meant to me, that I could conquer all my challenges.

I then got pregnant again- again I put on close to 30kg.

This time however, my birth was by cesarean.
After I got stripped off the devine pain medications in the hospital, it felt like that with each step I took, my internal organs would seperate from my body.
My core was a complete goner.
I felt physically uncomfortable and mentally unable to cope.

So, I fell into postnatal depression.
Anxiety attacks would rule my day and endless days of blackness and hopelessness would surround me.
The guilt of not being able to connect emotionally to my children, especially my oldest one, became unbearable.

I knew my life needed to change.
So I started taking a low dose of an antidepressant, which started lifting the fog and gave me the space to make some clear and positive decisions, in order to change my situation for the better.

I started walking again, pushing the pram.
It didn’t take long for me to get back into running again.

I constantly try and make time to look after myself, by exercising.
To the point where I abandoned my career in the tourism industry- to pursue a career in childcare, which makes it possible for me to be with my children- but also leaving them in the care of others while I can work out.

It is very important to me that I start with physical activity that’s fun to me.

Don’t make weight loss or body appearance your goal- as it might be disheartening if you don’t achieve the results you expected within your set timeframe. EveryBody is different!

Have fun with what you do- so you will want to come back to doing it.

My physical and mental stamina are slowly coming back together and I can see and feel all the beauty surrounding me again.

Buddhism teachings also played a huge part in my recovery, but that’s for another post.

The aim of this post is, to get one point across- no matter how many obstacles there are to indulge in self care and self improvement, there is always a way, to make it happen. I know that if I don’t look after myself, I can not look after my children in the way they deserve to be looked after.

If you want to contribute to a better society, than start with yourself. Get out of your comfort zone, push boundaries, where there is a “no”turn it into a “yes”, abandon all “can’t” and let your passion be your guide.

Thank you for reading- I hope this inspired someone, to believe that there is hope, that anything is possible.