Why is it so hard to make a choice?

walkinharmony (66)in #life • 5 years ago (edited)

A few days ago, I was video calling with a young girl, I can feel her sadness across the screen. She asked me, “Do you think I make the wrong choice?”

She enjoys drawing and designing since she was young. But in the end, she embarked on the road that she had never thought before. And her friend who she learns drawing together has insisted on drawing and designing. Now almost a year has passed, her friend drawing skills who used to not as good as her, owns a personal brand, selling her designs online, and her career is getting better each day.

And for her, she still doesn’t become who she wants to be with the choice she made, she has been working hard with zero income.

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In fact, it seems to me that there are no right or wrong choice. When you embark on a road, you must abandon the other way.

When we go back and think about whether we regretted making that choice, it is better to think seriously about what we gained from the road we are now walking.

Perhaps the road we are now in, we are still not able to realize our dream, but we must know that to achieve the ultimate goal in each road, we must go through a certain amount of time accumulation and practice.

Only by persist long enough, we can be qualified to taste the fruit of victory.

About making a choice, fortunately, my parents are not the kind that would say:

I have more experience than you, you should listen to me!
Everything I did, is for your own good.

...

Similar to these words, the parents who say these words, are depriving the child's right to make a choice. In fact, for the children, not able to make the choice by themselves is a very painful experience.

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Once you can make your own choices, it means that you have to bear all the consequences of your choice, which can exercise our sense of responsibility.

From a large number of choices, distinguish and experience, learn independence slowly.

Of course, we are not blindly rejecting the suggestions of elders, we need to listen carefully and analysis and finally make our own decisions.

You must have the courage to face all kinds of possibilities and live for your life.

There is a saying: "Choice is more important than the effort", but often, when we facing choices, we are easy to tangle and hesitate, even want to give up.

Why is it so hard to make a choice?

From the book “Essentialism”, mentioned a few reasons.

Not confident enough to believe that you can do things well. So, it is better not to do, but also find excuses to say "insufficient energy" and to justify.
Afraid of making mistakes again. Many people are afraid that they will not be able to do it again after a few bad choices, so in their heart, they will imply that "I have made the wrong decision and I want to give up.”
Do not know what you want. When the elder making all the choices for you when you are young, you never think of what you want, so when you need to make choice by yourself, you have no idea what to choose.
Making a choice is painful because it means giving up other options.

If you want too much, because human nature hates the loss, so you will feel uncomfortable inside.

You can compare yourself to see which one of the above factors are affecting you.

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The author of the book "Essentialism", Greg McKeown, is a law professional, but he did not know what he wants before graduation, so he wanted to have "all-round development", during daytime study law, study management in the evening, writing when he’s free.

It looks so good, he can do anything he wants after he learned everything.

But then he suddenly noticed that he seemed to be know everything, but there is nothing that he was really good at.

So he stopped and ask himself seriously: “What would I do if I could only do one thing in my life?”

However, the law school is not within his answer. He studies law is because others say that the law is good, he gave up the right to choose.

So, he dropped out and chose writing.

Many seemingly "open" choices, in fact, none of that can really bring us to reach the most desirable place in our heart.

Explore your heart, remove the things one by one that you don’t want, refuse those complex choices, and see what you want most.

Of course, what you want at each stage of life may be different, and as personal experiences, insights, and patterns change, so does the choice.

Therefore, I would like to say:

Any choice has a lot of unknown next step, you have to learn to accept the unknown fear so that you can see a new door by the choice.

Not every choice can be understood, but if you have seriously thought and that is what you want, please be firm and don’t easily affect by others.

Each failure of the choice is in the accumulation of experience, paving the way for you to the wonderful life.

Once you have made your choice, don't be afraid or run away, you have to be responsible for your decisions.

After you make the choice, what you need next is to take action.

There are no right or wrong choices, there are only choices that suits you or doesn’t suit you.

We often have "If I choose another choice, the risk will be smaller", "The other choice will be simpler" illusions, but in the real situation, every choice is not easy.

Before making choice, do analysis and comparison, after making the choice, concentrate on the choice.

If really can’t make a choice, then flip a coin.

Learn to give yourself a sense of security and sureness.

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