So one of my biggest fears of being pregnant is not the fact that apparently I have to make my vagina open up wide enough so that a human head can pop out of me (God really why????) is the fact that in almost 5 months I will have to raise a child all on my own, and it does not help my fear the fact that say child is going to be a boy.

I mean I have issues understanding the father and he is a grown man that can talk (I wish he would realize the fact that he can talk and not assume that I have a power of guessing his thoughts and feelings) now I will have to understand another man and take care of him and all, OMFG what am I suppose to do now!? How will I be able to raise a boy? I have no idea.

I'm so scare I want him to be a good person first of all, to be educated and hard worker specially for the things he wants to have in his life, I have to raise him strong and intelligent enough to be that kind of a man, is not that I don’t think I won’t able to do a good job as a mom but he is going to be a boy I have no idea how boys work it scares the shit out of me to have this such a huge responsibility to raise a good man, like is so going to be my fault if he turns out to be a bad man and I will never forgive myself for that.

My son I already love you so much, I hope to do a good job being your mom because you deserve the very best of the best.