oh and for the record : that's about 4 plates/meals of which half goes into the freezer and if you wanna skinny you can certainly make that 8 ... im not trying to excuse myself for having it, i got the impression someone thought i was bragging

m not

the thing is : "i had food packets for africa, month over-due surimi from the foodbank and ance ate nothing but rice with occasional can of tuna for months" - and that was AFTER the bad part heheh

there's nothing to say about that, there's no book or article in it

fyi

and bye

hmm

https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/the-boys-season-4-renewed-amazon-1235290494/

ofcourse "owned by crotter"

i still think every single company in the world should be forced to list their main holding (and maybe the one or two below that on every instance of their logo and brandname)

to give "the people" some sense of realism

after reading this : if you dont hear from me again in seven days it means satellius and nestle put a hit out on me :)

sooo

if i feel and look and sound a little reluctant to be solidair b/c someone else has less , i just think about all those who were when i was , and i dont think i still have shit, all i can do is eat and feed my cat

im not gandhi or jesus

but HEY

i can only say what those people always say

"keep smiling !" just try a little harder (it somehow feels like its my turn)

BUT i wont

b/c its against my religion to gloat or make threats

(im not any kind of monotheist on either of the one-gods btw)

and if this IS karma then if I do THAT

well then the bitch is gonna slap me back

and i fucking aint going back to THAT life - this is the lowest gutter i can still endure

SO

there's nothing to say about that, what i went through didnt have to happen (and its NOT b/c i was on crack or anything else or legal , it was just shyte and the whole soviet state was a lot less com(f)y than it claimed to be

now

i made a few ab-errant posts here , and the whole skitzo-thing is not an act even if i wasnt born that way, in some ways its miraculous that im still walking around but i dont believe in gods who care , certainly not in gods who consider prayer ... and after this

id like to (try and) go back to : find the last remaining no no-coder , reboot the scene, bring the c640 back with a vengeance (i was hoping the steam deck but it doesnt look like it, its for rich kids only these days) and scam enough money from the government subsidies to start a demo-party event that is NOT sponsored by microsof to find their next ("we need at least one guy to program the no coding a.i.")-guy

... after a fashion

i got some garden and dishes to do

for some reason

it still feels like thats not what i was born for

but you cant say that out loud

(so i hear)