Even before I came to America to meet her I was trying to postpone it, trying to tell her there were some things I had to take care of. She kept rushing me and I can't say much has changed in all the months we've lived together, I still feel rushed.
If I felt rushed towards good things it wouldn't be such a big deal, but instead I feel pushed to make decisions that are not the best for me.
I've been struggling with my teeth for many months and because I've been taking care of my gf financially I gotta live in pain, it hurts every day and it doesn't let me sleep. But I still gotta get up early to work some more so that she can have her cigarettes and fast food.
I told her if things don't change in a month I'm going back to my country where I can at least get medical care, I'd just come back whenever I can if she will still have me around. She keeps trying to get me to marry her for health insurance as if she's paying for any health insurance. I'm going to have to pay for it anyways, she's looking for every excuse to get me to marry her and doesn't even care what I'm going through or what it may cost me later on. It's just pain on top of pain that she doesn't seem to care though.
I don't want to leave but I also don't want to live in pain. If she can't wake up before noon to apply for jobs, help me with breakfast or help in some way, then she doesn't love me or herself enough. I gotta love myself though, I can't live in pain.