Everything feels so SHIT!!!!!😭

in life •  2 years ago 

So as I said in one of my previous posts...my home burnt down. I miss my home, I miss being there with my family, relaxing with my husband while our 2 boys run around playing. Yes I took a lot of pictures, but many of of it will stay memories. Even when I step over the rubble of what used to be our home, I can see them.

But atleast we are all safe....

But after needing to stay with family with my boys away from my husband a week, it was hard. He started having panic attacks and I felt helpless. I made a plan to return to support my husband and to rummage through our rubble to see what we can salvage. My eldest went to visit my in-laws in Pretoria and they took him to an eye specialist and it turns out he needs glasses for the rest of his life. My heart is breaking not being able to be there during this life changing event for my little boy.

Looking for a new home

Inbetween with a sick baby driving up and down viewing places that is within our budget knowing we still need to replace so much, from places way too small with small kids, unsafe areas or places to run down for asking rental price. Yes we are desperate, yes we are homeless now, but we need to kive and give our children and ourselves a place to call home. A place where we can build new memories and where our lives can rise from the ashes...

After finally after much negotiating, we found a place, and before we can share the news with family, I found out that my grandmother, the woman who raised me since I was 2 years okd after my mother's death, has stage 4 cancer. Her liver cancer had spread into her abdomen and lymph nodes, the Drs can only try and convince her medical aid to continue on a different kind of chemo treatment to manage it otherwise we need to start ready ourselves...

I feel Broken.., I am tired of being strong...

I am Tired


With Love

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So sorry to hear but you got to keep staying strong do it for the kids :)

I wish I could do something to alleviate yourt pain. But, I can't do anything. The best I can do is say, I'm so sorry. I hope things get beter for you soon.

I'll pray for you and send positive thoughts to you and your family.

All of these things are just worldly stuff, it can be replaced. Use this time to spend us much time with the people that need you. Life is short, but you will always have the memories...don't waste precious time feeling negative. Do what you can now to build up memories and support others. Everything in life happens for a reason, and even if we don't understand it now, one day we will. Life is hard, but grab those lemons and make some lemonade!

When I was 33 My Parents and Siblings were told to rush to the Hospital to see me before I died. Many years ago , I am still here , I know it seems terrible , but you will come out of it stronger. Hang in there , your Family will end up closer for this . God tests those whom he loves!

Nice wording friend

Oh no this is absolutely awful!!! Life really can throw everything at us at once. Were you insured? I am so sorry you have to go through this. Carry on being strong until you don't need to anymore, but recognise that grief is not weakness. It is part of the healing process. You will rise from the ashes.

SO sorry to hear about you home. Not a house. Your family lived there. loved there and had memories, so it was a home.
I am sending you well-wishes to finding a new home soon.

Prayers to you and yours.

This is so incredibly sad and I am truly sorry to hear that all this has happened to you. At times life can really be awful. Sending you lots of encouragement during this difficult and emotional time.

The Lord is your strength. I pray for God's provision for you family and the Lord will be with your grandma.
You can read this post for more strenght in God. Here