Why Failure is an "Essential Prerequisite" for Success
Your most recent failure? Fail an exam? forgot something crucial? fired from your job? divorce? Did you miss a supper with new friends? had a problem with your noncommunicating teen? Missed a crucial appointment? lost savings in investment? been broke?
I repeat: is failure important for learning? Answer: yes.
If you are a perfectionist, you may struggle to accept failure. Most of us want to avoid failure. This is expected as we use the dictionary meaning and our education. Failure has been portrayed as a setback, a lack of success, and the inability to achieve goals.
I suggest you broaden your perspective and look with your being, that is, replace the material definition with the spiritual definition: failure is EXPERIENCE, an extraordinary tool that sparks future success.
Every time you blame yourself for doing something wrong, you disappoint yourself and feed your rejection wound. All the feelings you feel after a "failure" stem from rejection and unfairness. These wounds make you think you can't make mistakes and must be perfect or you'll fail. These ego-fueled scars inhibit self-love and humanization.
Stop thinking our BEING is defined by our actions or possessions. We are much more. Our experiences on Earth teach us as light beings.
Avoid feeding your ego's failure narrative. Sometimes it's not your ego, but someone trying to make you feel bad over a mistake. This person reflects your ego's calm thoughts. Denial over rejection prevents you from seeing it.
Instead of believing failure is horrible, learn from it. The most essential thing is to love yourself even if you haven't met your materialistic expectations.
My 15-year marriage ended in divorce. Like others, I thought it was a failure and felt bad for doing or not doing things.
After a few years of short-lived dating, I thought about what I learnt from my previous marriage and what I desired in a meaningful relationship. I learned two crucial things: 1) I was afraid of showing emotion in my first marriage, so I spoke and did what I believed the other person wanted. 2) I expected the other to act the same way with me and fulfil all my wishes to prove he loved me.
After these discoveries, I determined to learn to be authentic. I never knew how to be since I was like my mother to my father. I also dared to reveal my own desires and discover the other's. I learned to make explicit promises. It works! After that, I married Jacques for 35 years. We were honest and made explicit agreements.
Setbacks, experiences, and failures can strengthen us. Instead of torturing yourself with what this word means to you and your loved ones, replace it with experience and list everything you've learnt.
Nothing we do materially, internally, or spiritually is random since every experience is useful. Failure is another soul-evolution step.
It's smarter and more fun to accept all our experiences, regardless of the path.