Drowning In Self-Pity... And Then There's SteemIt
I can't help it... every now and then I drown in self-pity and lose all my motivation. But then I come across stories of other Steemiansand and I realize I have little to complain about...
Source
Losing Perspective
After the high of the first half of 2017, which was completely dominated by the preparations for our wedding and the wedding itself, I sometimes feel like I've used up all my luck. Ever since, life seems to have nothing but obstacles in store for me and although I believe that life doesn't give you things you can't handle, I often get lost in a spiral of negative thoughts and sink into depression.
Next to losing 2 of my beloved cats and the dog - who were like children to me, and of which I still have difficulties coping with the loss, I've had 2 back surgeries in 2018 which have limited my world to the 4 walls of my bedroom.
Apart from the very occasional visit from my friends, my girlfriend - my wife, I should say - is my only social connection. I have no one to blame but myself, because I often don't feel like seeing or talking to others and the longer I put myself into this social isolation, the worse it gets.
It's easy to lose all sense of perspective when your world is as small as that.
Self-Pity
Earlier this week I heard that a third surgery might be necessary. Once again, I have no one to blame but myself. If I would have been more motivated to do the exercises I was given, maybe the healing process would have been different. But often I feel like it's already too big of a step to get out of bed in the morning,... exercising is the last thing on my mind on those days.
My mind is my own worst enemy, and the vicious circle of negative thoughts I can't seem to escape from causes me to drown in self-pity more often with every day that goes by.
SteemIt To The Rescue
And then... just when I think everything is pointless, and my life has become worth next to nothing, I come across stories of other people here on SteemIt that make me realize things could be way, way worse and that I'm not in a position to feel like I feel.
In spite of everything, I live a luxury life: I have everything a person could wish for - except for a good back, maybe. And there is still hope that even my back problems might be solved eventually.
So who am I to feel so sorry for myself all the time?
This last week, I came across a couple of stories here on SeemIt that were really the wake-up call I needed so badly, and I'm thankful for the people being brave enough to share their story with the world. Because their courage makes me realize it is about time I pick myself up and get it together again...
I suffer from depression
And I understand that self-pity is the mother of depression or vice versa.
After many years; I discovered that my metabolism responded to certain foods, causing depression and inflammation.
Especially lumbar and joint.
I get to your page following the blog of @ rmsbodybuilding.
The food that he proposes, is the one that has given me the best result.
When I eat carbohydrates, especially wheat, oats and dairy products, my episodes of depression are horrible.
And in my case, grains like lentils, beans, etc.
They unleash a terrible inflammation in the ganglia and lately my whole body.
I hope your health improves.
"Let food be your medicine"
Hippocrates.
Interesting... I will surely look into that.
I don't know why but I'm glad you let it all out and I am glad I read this. Life is never fair, I learn it the hard way too. Buuutt... with the best support beside you AKA your wife and SteemIt of course, I think we all can give you the best motivations ever, and you need to put in some effort as well like start getting out of the bed often and do some of the exercise need for the back.
I would definitely cheer for you if you do a video while exercise, that would be fun!! LOL
Lol... me making a video, I don't see that happen any time soon :0D
I'm usually not that open about what how I feel - not on SteemIt, nor in 'real life', but it felt good to write it down and get it off my chest.
That a good awareness and glad you took the action of letting it out, would love to hear more from you on your progress soon!
It feeld like progress is not anywhere in sight. I need to get out of this vicious circle, but although I've been trying very hard for the last two decades, I haven't been very successful :0(
If I only could find professional help from people who don't think I'm a nutcase because I have a different view on things in life, that would be a great help. Unfortunately, the knowledge I have gaghered over the years about life and how it works is completely different from what other people think and belief. I know I'm right about thay stuff but when I try to explain, they look at me like it's all nonsense, while it isn't. They are just too short-sighted to even give it a chance.
If people don't understand the way I think about how life has its ways how on earth will they ever be able to help me?
Well, I would love to hear your perspective on life itself if you don't mind to share, here or privately is up to you. @roselifecoach and I are going through a different life path as well after we know the knowledge of Human Design System, it's not some mambo jumbo believe. Instead, it's science and spirituality and we have opened our eyes to many things since. Would love to hear yours too!
Also, when you said a vicious circle, we believe everything we started has a seven years circle, so if it's not closed or resolve it will keep repeating the same thing happening, maybe that's what is happening to you?
I've come across that idea of the 7 year's cycle amazingly often these last months. I'll need to look into the Human Design System. Top of my list for tomorrow, once I've had some much needed sleep
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Have a good rest Mike!
I don't know much about you until recently @simplymike 😯 I thought that your back is not so serious like cancer and you still look so fine with your supportive and friendly comments also actions towards other on steemit.
So.. before you're getting to old to enjoy your life😉 get that surgery and do some exercise, it would be wonderful if you are in good health too.
I learnt to be more grateful for everything I have from the stories on steemit too.
Yes, chief! ;0)
All kidding aside, you couldn't be more right.
I did not know you were fighting this disability every day. I feel your pain..... literally.
Not to the level it has knocked you down to. That really sucks.!
I do know that you helped a total stranger (me) on this steem social platform. When the ones running PHC, kicked me and my application to them, from the discord, without so much as an explanation.?
I want to thank you again for that. Physical disability or not, your Heart is huge. I only hope Sammi Jo, Jess & I can make you smile from time to time.
You do, @krazzytrukker... definitely. Once again proved with this comment :0)
'Bad cattitude' - I need to remember that one...lol
omg...why would you even write that your life is worth to nothing...just cuz you're currently spending time in your room most of the time? Well you have pretty damn good reason for that..2 back surgeries ain't no fun. I mean..I talk as if I never had a self pity phases...IM actually also fighting one as Im struggling to get of wart on my foot for more than 1 year now :/ and can't train jiu jitsu for one whole year :// sooo yeah, I'm also stuggling...we all do, you're right..but hey, pls never ever generalize one time-period struggle as your whole life. Try to remind yourself of the perspective and the whole "bigger" picture. In couplde of years, it'll be just another life chapter. Also, I'm sorry for ur dogs loss.
I'm not saying it is, it just sometimes feels like that.
And after a wake up call like the one I had this morning, I realize that, in 5 years, I will probably look back on this period and be thankful for it, because I've learned so much from it. At least, that's what I have with all the other 'bad' things that happened to me in the past. But even though I know that, it's not always easy to put it into practice....
I would not have known you were struggling with your back
You are always so supportive and giving
That explains why I haven’t seen your gardening posts
I hope letting it out helped some
Hugs <33
I always salute @simplymike for being so active all the time...even with back pain she happily able to manage Steem, homesteader, and then...helping in making minnows....she is just awesome and an inspiration
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Couldn't agree more
She is absolutely amazing <33
I've had these thoughts often, also being limited by physical accidents and pain. Still, although I admire you want to pick up yourself after reading others stories, don't forget all your feelings are valid and allowed to be 'there'. It's true sometimes other stories are even worse but the truth is, that does not mean our stories are not 'bad'.
Just wanted to say you are allowed to feel like things are hard - and acknowledging things are hard (saying them out loud for example, something I've had to learn ;-)) can sometimes even be the most important step towards recovery.
Hugs, back pains suck (I have them today, they are tiring, and they are NOT as bad as yours, since I don't need surgery... But they are draining me so can't even imagine how you feel!) - and I hope the surgery will help you in some way <3
Thanks, @soyrosa.
It's a bit funny to hear someone else say to me the same thing I always say to others: we are taught to define things as 'worse' or 'less bad', but there is in fact no such thing. It's only your own experience that counts.
It's advice I give to others, but - as with most of the advice I have for others - I forget to apply it to myself. Thanks for the reminder.
Sorry to hear you're in pain too.
You honesty is refreshing @simplymike ♥ I love your attitude and I know you'll get through this phase of your life and look back one day seeing the blessing of having "down time," realizing what it's all been FOR. Good on you.
True. In a couple of years, I'll be thankful for this because it has helped me to become a smarter, stronger will have brought me closer to myself.
Too bad that's hard to grasp when you're in the middle of it ;0)
Hi @simplymike :) Have you ever listened to Matt Kahn? When I jumped off a cliff 7 years ago, he became a rock for me insofar as being able to move through some hard times with ease & understanding. He's a wonderful teacher, and offers up free teachings on his YouTube channel. He especially attracts empaths, and I have a feeling you might be one ♥ Just a hunch, but if he doesn't resonate, all good. His last video was on "dissolving sadness." That might be a good place to start. But use your own intuition, of course.
Hi, @simplymike!
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The good thing about this is that you are talking about it. That's the best medicine, as venting is essential for improvement. There are times in our life when we are laid low for purposes to strengthen us my friend. You are not terminally sick and we pray that your situation will improve.
Blessings!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?! Although that's what I believe.it's just not always easy to remember whe you're in the middle of.
5 years from now, I'll be thankful for the situation as ig is now, bdcause it has been a huge learning experience.
...if only that knowledge would make it easier to deal with when you are right inthe midle of it :0s