Do you realize that those little nothing statements you utter without thinking can sometimes cut deep?

Recent conversations have had me thinking about the way that there are some common, seemingly innocent statements that really demean the hard work and achievements of others. I'm going to look at two examples today.

"You're so lucky to be in this position."

A little less than a year ago, my wife got an entry level position in a very competitive field. It seems like whenever I talk to anybody about her career, their response is, "Wow, she's really lucky to have gotten in." The wording isn't always the same, but the operative force in her good fortune is always determined by these commenters to be luck. 

I'm sure none of them intend any ill will, but regardless of intent, this statement really demeans the work my wife has done to get where she is. 

While most of her classmates in university partied and went out clubbing, she studied hard. She knew what her weaknesses were and poured all of her effort into learning and improving. 

While most of her classmates spent their summers relaxing or working at McDonald's (not that there's anything wrong with that) she would always seek employment that offered an experience relevant to her future career.

While most of her classmates complained that it's too hard to find work, she was volunteering and networking.

My wife is very fortunate to be in her current position, but I don't think luck had anything to do with it. She earned it.

"I wish I had that kind of talent."

As an artist, this is something I've been hearing all my life. I think it's intended as a compliment, but it's hard for me to take it that way.

A talent is an innate aptitude or natural ability. And hey, I probably do have some inherent skill that gives me an advantage in artistic endeavors. I'm not saying that talent doesn't exist. People have natural predisposition to all sorts of things: math, science, cooking, art, alcoholism... anything.

However, chocking up an artist's work and ability to mere talent is kind of insulting. It devalues the constant practice, building up of skills, and the sweat and blood (not to mention emotional labour) that goes into creating art.

I wasn't just born this way. It isn't just in my nature to create something that others find beautiful or impressive. I have to work for it. 

So please, don't be one of these people. Respect the work and achievement of others and think about what you're saying before that garbage spills out of your face hole. 

~Seth

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