Here's what I love about me.
It's hard for us to talk about what we love about ourselves. We are conditioned to love others and not ourselves. We can even get pretty uncomfortable talking about what we love about our kids, who are seen as an extension of ourselves.
If I should ever talk lovingly about myself in front of my mum she'd get that look and she'd be somewhat silent and unresponsive. It's deeply ingrained.
But, before you can love others (without strings about reciprocation firmly attached) you have to love yourself.
It's funny to love something about yourself that causes you discomfort but I love my qualms, which keep me on the straight and narrow. I've always had a great sense of awkwardness around integrity. It creates a bit of integrity perfectionism in me ... and that stands anyone in good stead.
I read recently that happiness is directly related to how closely three things match: your view of yourself, how others view you, and what you actually are.
I think of it like focussing the sun through a magnifying glass until the three points converge.
You can't control how other people see you. I think we are often a mirror for people's own inner stuff ... But you can go some way toward it by being pretty consistent and authentic when you can ... and then by surprising them with humility by allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of them & making amends for stuff you felt you didn't do well with regard to them.
It's VERY powerful. It's like an integrity cleanse [I think I've nicked that phrase from someone ... let me go check: Yep ... it was Martha Beck!].
Thanks to @brunotreves for the post stimulation with his post: https://steemit.com/steemit/@brunotreves/tell-us-three-things-you-love-about-yourself-3
You cannot give what you don't have. So I suppose it's similar to if you can't love yourself, you probably can't love other people.
I reckon you are right. We also have this unspoken contract that we'll be selfless and as a reward for our selflessness other people will meet our needs. But they can't mindread our needs. People are pretty poor at it. So we feel kinda shat upon as the deal for subjugating our needs is rarely fulfilled adequately. Leads to a heady mixture of guilt and resentment.
How very true. But luckily, there are people who seem to know just what we need. Very rare bunch of people but I suppose it's more reason to hold on to them and treasure them.