The Bullshit In Goal-Setting (And The REAL Road To Surfing The Waves Of Wealth)...

in #life3 years ago

There are so many ideas held as truth in both many of our cultures and especially the whole personal development world. Many of us have taken these on as dogma to live by, never second-guessing whether they’re actually fit well for us, where we are at our given time in life.

i.e. Goal-setting.

(And all the variations of the concept that go along with it.)

i.e. ”Choose what you want. Go after and get it.”

Of course, that sounds perfectly reasonable. And sure enough, there is a time and place where such a strategy is appropriate.

However, not too many talk about when and how that approach to life might not work.

So many “coaches,” “gurus,” etc may regurgitate that particular outlook with the ferocity and conviction of a used-car salesman whose rent getting paid depends upon your buying what they’re selling. Yet, few offer a proper balanced perspective of when such an approach to life might be better unsubscribed from for reasons that have nothing to do with their own personal agendas of convincing you that their beliefs are true.



There are some fundamental flaws with much of the goal-setting outlook on life, that are rarely - if ever discussed in the same context.

Such as... sometimes what we think we want may really not be what is actually best for us.

And/or typically, what we “want” is based on a limited awareness of what we’ve known. Or in other words, based in values arising from the limited awareness of where we are in our evolving growth process - values that may be distorted and flawed, unbeknownst to us, with immaturity.



And then, there’s also the matter:

We don’t always know what life / the universe may have in store that is far better than what we might choose for ourselves, based in our limited awareness.

We never know what opportunities and blessings we might end up cutting ourselves off from, were we to so fervently think we know what is best for us.

And of course, there’s always the bit: what we think we want might actually end up being very different than we imagined it as.

Sure, a lot of us might want to be a billionaire. But how many of us have actually developed the integrity of character that would ensure such a huge amount of resources be put to use constructively?



Speaking from personal experience...

I bought into all the goal-setting stuff throughout my twenties. And, I had an ambition level off-the-charts.

A couple major goals on my lists: hundreds of millions in forex profits and Kanye West producer-success-status by 25.

Needless to say, neither was achieved.

Thankfully.

Had it gone down like that... chances are, I’m not even sure I’d be alive today. In all likelihood, my youthful arrogance and narcissistic grandiose probably would have made Kanye’s look pale in comparison, and I wouldn’t have been able to control my addictive inclinations from blowing insane amounts of money on cocaine and hookers until I ended up part of “The 27 Club.” (The list of countless legendary musicians who died - many from overdoses - at age 27).

The achievement of those goals would have surely gratified my ego. But in hindsight, I had nowhere near the level of maturity to handle what I was asking for.



Life chapters later... I had fulfilled the goal of living and DJing in Bali for 5 years.

Though for as a great an experience it was - at times - while it lasted, it turned out that wasn’t the life I really wanted.

And by then, I had begun to cultivate enough wisdom to acknowledge that I kinda didn’t know what exactly I wanted.

All along, I wanted the financial freedom I thought was only available through the road of entrepreneurism. So I had thrown myself into numerous projects and ventures - setting and striving towards goals the whole way - none of which turned out favourably no matter how devoted I was to those different goals. And in the end, I never really wanted any of them all that bad.

So as I approached closing the BALI chapter, I was nearly out of ideas.

I seemed to have tried everything I could think of. I set goals. Fell flat on my face time and time again. Moving to and DJing in Bali had worked out - but that was merely one our of dozens of others that didn’t. Clearly, I had no idea what I was doing, following the goal-setting dogma. And, I had run out of energy to waste following such a cliche strategy that was not working. (I guess perhaps I’m not completely crazy - having stopped before becoming a walking example of the, ”the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result,” wisdom).

Fast-forwarding to the point...

What changed everything and actually led to the financial results I was really wanting? Steemit.

And I had no way of foreseeing that.

They say “luck = preparation meets opportunity,” and I had undergone alot of preparation. But there was no goal I ever could have set to have created the opportunity - whereas it presented itself in perfect timing.

And... when I began on Steemit, I had no goals. I had zero expectations.

My success on this platform never came as a result of setting goals.

It came once I finally let go of the whole goal-setting dogma and simply embraced the flow of life - making myself open to what presented itself in alignment, and showing up to engage fully without concern of what it would lead to.

Two entire worlds different approaches - and outcomes.



So what’s the point of this writing...?

Hopefully, to activate the capability within someone reading it to better discern the bullshit within many cultural preconceptions that simply don’t work for everyone at all times, despite how forcefully they’ve been implanted in our psyches.

To spark thinking outside the box of how we’ve been told to do things.

To provide an example of a different approach that may sometimes produce way better results than those we’ve exhausted ourselves at previously.

(The example of “goal-setting” has been used here - though the same meta-concepts could surely be applied to many other belief systems and strategies in a wide range of various sub-cultural programs).

And maybe as one additional nugget, to pay forward a lesson I had heard repeated many times by an influential mentor, though had to go through the experiences myself to truly understand: that the opportunities leading to our wealth are probably not those we first think or expect, but those a few steps removed that unfold as a consequence of continuing playing the game...

All those goals I had lusted after for a decade plus... they were only stepping stones.

And each step was preparation for opportunities I never have could have know would come.



Lastly...

Why this may be coming out now as important to share, with goal-setting as the specific topic:

There are many people here who have goals of “making it” on Steemit.

And the reality is: most WON’T.

Many might have goals of duplicating the success of early adopters here... yet, to catch a wave, you need to be at precisely the right place at the right time. And you need to know how to surf.

There are some who have undergone the necessary preparation to seize the opportunity that may be presented through this platform. Though more likely for most, this IS the preparation.

And the opportunity that’ll lead to the real wealth lies ahead - not yet able to be seen.

Blockchain technology as a whole is a big wave, and there are going to be many opportunities to catch it - whether entrepreneurial opportunities to build other apps on Steem or other chains, or contributing value in other communities and platforms.

For those who’ve been focused on begging for votes and followers... it’s not going to be the happiest of endings.

For those who’ve been committed to cultivating their skills, investing in their knowledge, and tuning their senses to the changes occurring in the world - preparing themselves to create value when a specific opportunity arises that matches the talent they’ve diligently developed and is able to be effectively applied in tandem with the knowledge they’ve acquired... SURF’S UP.

The waves keep coming.

The one that’s got your name on it... it won’t come to you because of any goal you set.

Rather, that moment you catch it - it will be because you’ve put in the time to master the craft.

Yes, you’ll need to be at the right place at the right time to paddle in.

But, the better you get, the easier it becomes to place yourself there as the wave breaks.

And it’s no longer one particular wave you’re waiting for - you can keep catching them as they come.

(Goal-whaaaat...?)


Activation Complete.



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Awesome write-up man, the surprises that catch you, the things we stumble upon, those are sometimes where we catch our break.

I have a feeling consciousness is the new frontier, that's where my prep and time is going, I think it's the future, exploring and working with consciousness

You’re a smart man... ;-)

Yeah! So many people don't understand the pitfalls of goal-setting.

Whenever we set goals we insinuate searching for something we haven't yet. Goal-setting is the strategy of focusing on lack instead of abundance, detesting the beauty of the pathway and each moment's noteworthiness.

As soon as we set a goal it becomes crystal clear that the pathway itself isn't 100% in alignment with our Heart's fulfillment, because any goal comes along with at least a breeze of attachment to Time and discipline. Discipline is defined by potential outcome as the exclusive motivation to keep us on track with the execution of an occupation which is against our Heart's passion, as I told you in one of your previous posts.

Yet goal-setting's lure to achievement is a farce as well, for once attained, the ego's everlasting discontent tries its best to distract us from absorbing the splendor of our creation, instead longing for the immediate set of new goals which again tempt us with illusionary satisfaction.

Heart-based work doesn't require goals, for it is endowed with the unquenchable source of passion capable of creating a Universe of stellar Self-containment that instantly remunerates us with effervescent Joy. A Joy the ego's illusory enticement will never be able to emulate due to its discontent nature's relentless lookout for the fly in the ointment.

Ok.

This is absolutely the best comment on this thread yet.

As soon as we set a goal it becomes crystal clear that the pathway itself isn't 100% in alignment with our Heart's fulfillment...

This in particular. 👌👏⭐️

Epic last paragraph

I resonate with so much of what you've said that I can't possibly highlight it all, particularly as I'm writing from a horizontal position while I try to nurse an injured back. But to underscore a few key points....

It is so true that we often limit what can happen for us with our own faulty conception of what is possible and/or what is right for us. I too am so glad I failed to achieve all my goals of early life. I'd have been a ego-maniacal monster!

I am glad that life had grander plans for me, plans that continue to unfold in the form of unexpected blessings. Right now I appear to be buying a house in Taos, a place I'd never imagined going just a couple months ago. (I'm an island girl, not desert.) One thing after another keeps lining up around that and permaculture, community building, and natural building, the seeds of which I can see planted in my life across the decades, but which never added up to anything before.

I do think goals can be useful, but only if they are held more as the stepping stones you refer to. Sometimes we can only see the real destination once we've taken the step we can see. We grow in the taking of that first step, such that we now are the person who has the capacity to take the next one. So long as we're satisfied with this pattern, all is good.

I like to think of it as a spiral of creation rather than a line. If we look for life to progress as a line, we wind up discouraged when it seems like we're revisiting the same issues again and again, still not quite hitting the mark. But if we see it as a spiral, we know we're coming around that point again, but this time in an orbit that's closer to the center. This gives us that elusive sense of progress we humans so crave.

Btw, I also lived in Bali for a bit, though only a year. I was dancing there, teaching it and studying it. I also started channeling while I was there. Incredible place! Really attuned me to the spirit-led life, where the only prayer is "yes."

There's a lot of sense in the pieces you wrote, there's need for us to set a goal from our dreams and it should be goals that is visible to be realised. To set goals mean making a change in one's life In order to achieve certain, objectives sometimes it might be truly helpful and enlightening to explore new mental territory just like you did by hitting jackpots through steemit according to your experiences. But when you are not heading in a particular directions, you will arrive no where. Also, when you have no specific goals in mind, you will end up accomplishing nothing. But when you give yourself clear and specific goals, then your actions takes up the power of purpose that can help you to be more creative, resourceful, persistent and being effective.

It came once I finally let go of the whole goal-setting dogma and simply embraced the flow of life - making myself open to what presented itself in alignment, and showing up to engage fully without concern of what it would lead to.

Yes, accepting reality of life does matter, sometimes we might think of getting something done in our own way but the change will just come naturally without any form of preparation or such. If you find yourself in a good and useful situation, or you encounter a difficult and troubling situation, you can make the best from it no matter what. Accepting life's reality will surely push you to get yourself busy making your own unique positive contribution using whatever you have to get what you want by following certain protocol and process you will surely succeed.

Such as... sometimes what we think we want may really not be what is actually best for us....

The decision of setting a goal , and going after what we want does seems right to anyone who hears it. But the truth of the matter isn’t bitter but the fact . Some do find it bitter and fail to come to the reality of it , some got to realize and amend their course as it dawns on them that the goal they set is not what is best for them.

We don’t always know what life / the universe may have in store that is far better than what we might choose for ourselves, based in our limited awareness.

We never know what opportunities and blessings we might end up cutting ourselves off from, were we to so fervently think we know what is best for us.

And of course, there’s always the bit: what we think we want might actually end up being very different than we imagined it as.

This is so true about me talking from personal experience. I never knew I could be a singer , If I had known then I wouldn’t had studied Computer Science in College but Music. Now I realized my goal of being a computer scientist isn’t the best for me after all, I’ve earned nothing from being a computer scientist but I’ve earned some good and kind hearted friends with music and their support has been a blessing.

They say “luck = preparation meets opportunity,” and I had undergone alot of preparation. But there was no goal I ever could have set to have created the opportunity - whereas it presented itself in perfect timing.

Hmmmmm true words, preparations meets opportunity. Only a prepared mind is ready to flow with life the way it comes . Wrong goals pursuit will only get one going the wrong direction. Deep knowledge here I must say

That the opportunities leading to our wealth are probably not those we first think or expect.

Life lesson this is to me , I see myself walking the path I never imagined myself walk and I have no regrets.

For those who’ve been committed to cultivating their skills, investing in their knowledge, and tuning their senses to the changes occurring in the world - preparing themselves to create value when a specific opportunity arises that matches the talent they’ve diligently developed and is able to be effectively applied in tandem with the knowledge they’ve acquired... SURF’S UP.

Some valuable advice I must say, cultivating my skills, investing my knowledge and diligently developing my talents preparing myself for opportunities to arise are my newly found hobbies. Thanks @rok-sivante for impacting knowledge.

If I had known then I wouldn’t had studied Computer Science in College but Music. Now I realized my goal of being a computer scientist isn’t the best for me after all, I’ve earned nothing from being a computer scientist...

Well, there is probably something worthwhile you learned and gained through that chapter that may serve you well ahead, which you can leverage somehow in a different field, whether music or otherwise.

At least in my own life, there have been events and periods that seem scattered or unrelated - yet there comes a point of understanding of how the dots end up connecting, how while sometimes the steps seemed like they may have been going in “wrong,” distracting directions - the pieces of the puzzle end up fitting together quite well.

(Or maybe I’m still just trying to rationalize my decade of procrastination in having continually put producing music on the back burner. In either case... as having been through that, I’d advise that if you are strongly feeling the call to music, DO IT. And I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t recognize multiple talents you already have to work with that are fundamental to success on that path. ;-)

Well, there is probably something worthwhile you learned and gained through that chapter that may serve you well ahead, which you can leverage somehow in a different field, whether music or otherwise.

Yeah yeah , you’re so right . The knowledge I got there leads to how I figured out to making my music from my phone. A mobile studio I love to describe it as.

I’d advise that if you are strongly feeling the call to music, DO IT. And I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t recognize multiple talents you already have to work with that are fundamental to success on that path.

Yes I do , music is the only thing I do that seems effortless to me despite the whole lots of effort I put into it. Music is a life I want to live but limitations to dreams are inevitable. I look to have a degree in music , that is to professionally be trained to manage my vocals and of course in music production. This is a plan I’m gonna work hard to carry out cause I’m not seeing it as a dream anymore. No more setting goals but preparing myself for opportunities.

Thankfully, in this day and age, formal education is much less important/valuable - in fields like music, in particular.

Sometimes experience trumps classroom learning, practice being incredibly more powerful than being preached to. And, there is so much education online for free or cheap nowadays, that much of what you could learn studying music in school, you could simply find on YouTube.

Two of the best music production educational resources I’ve come across over the years:

Academy.fm
Sonic Academy

Both are very reasonably priced around $15-30/month, and well-worth it, as they have great tutorials.

And then again, YouTube is always a great source.

;-)

Sometimes experience trumps classroom learning, practice being incredibly more powerful than being preached to. And, there is so much education online for free or cheap nowadays, that much of what you could learn studying music in school, you could simply find on YouTube.

You’re right about this , you’re so right . I used to think having a musical degree is the best for me , it turned out that what I feel is best for me isn’t afterall. This is no longer a goal, all I need is to just prepare myself for opportunities which could be opened up to me. Thanks for mentoring, you’re so much appreciated sir .
Checking those music production educational resources out .

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From the times memorial some people get to set their goal and work towards it to achieve it, some bled for their goals but they didn’t even get close to achieving it,
Now am not saying that one should not set a goal for himself, but life have it own way of resetting one destiny.
For example in Nigeria where I come from I wanted to be a Lawyer , but after applying to read Law in different schools I was not given admission, eventually I ended up studying Performing and Media Communications. Now am enjoying been a journalist,both as broadcaster and print journalist.
So you see life have it own way of twisting one fate! Great post @rok-sivante

When we don't set goals for ourselves, our dreams become unachievable.

I have seen many ambitious people who dreams were caught short because they failed one and some abandon their goal and chase others because they feel theirs isn't good enough. You had a share of it all but kept trying and today,here is your success story. So many will not succeed on steemit, I have seen quite some numbers of friends though I ain't judging. They joined steemit before me and fell side ways along the line and market price was one of the reason their high level of interest dropped but forgot those successful ones on steemit started by building a foundation by setting up a block,then with time started adding other blocks. Everyone wants to be rich, yes I haven't found one person who doesn't. I have learnt in time that only persistence and zeal enables one to attain a goal or reach a success height. "The key to success is given to everyone, keep trying different locks until one or two opens"

This is great and I love how you go right to the point.
I have never been great at setting goals because when I tried setting goals, I don't really succeed and then I get disappointed.
What I have learned through my experiences and what works for me is just to always, always do my best, my 100% no matter what I am doing and what I start, I finish, otherwise I don't sleep or feel really good.
And because I know I did my best, I can rest in peace, knowing that at the right place, at the right time, things will happen for me, as long as I am moving forward, growing, no giving up and being consistent I will succeed in whatever life has to offer for me.

Thanks for this great read @rok-sivante

I agree with most of what you have said. But, to some extent the approach to goal setting is inconclusive.

On one side, goal setting had worked and works for some folks from the very beginning of their lives. Besides, moving forward in life requires a direction which can only determined by a goal. Without a direction the person will stand still and not even be prepared for the next opportunity.

On the other side, there is something about the goals we set and what can make us persist without quitting. I believe that the more the goals are close to who uniquely someone is, what are his core values and what inspires him most, the more quitting won't be an option and the achievement closer because of the meaning that goal holds to him.

First of all i want to say one thing that, Goals have the face of variables means sometimes we follow definite goals but we never reach their because an goal is our perception to become something but to reach their and to experience the journey is the most difficult phase because i will tell my small example, i wanted become athlete and there were no training at all whatever we've done we practiced on small grounds and invested hours and hours and i am glad that i played in National Levels but here comes the real thing when i thought i am on the way of my goal i faced an cheap politics in one of the important games and officials downgraded my rank willfully when i was won the event in second place but yet they downgraded my rank so this was my hit back and in many places faced the kind of politics then i changed my path to cricket then played that sport to district levels then i wanted to work for multinational company then I've done that, then i wanted to become an HR personnel I've done that but nothing worked for me as an goal and always i have worry about my parents because due to some Family issues they stay with depressive mindset then i decided to do Work From Home Job then after 6 months of leaving my job due to my research i got introduced with Steemit and now it's an platform which reflecting as i was waiting for this.

So, in my opinion there is nothing like definite goals because life have it's own plans for everyone.

Thanks for sharing this post with us and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed. 🙂

Periods, mate.

Smaller paragraphs with distinct sentences read MUCH better than a huge run-on sentence/paragraph... ;-)

(And that’s a pretty nicely well-rounded wealth of life experience behind you.)

I will take these inputs and will work, next time i will come up with better way. Thanks for your advice brother. Stay blessed. 🙂

A very sensible discussion of every effort that has been made By men where in more than a decade ago they have planned to achieve a success in living a life.
And from here there is one of the media among the many that have been published that is Social Media Steemit, where everyone will be very easy to think to through it Even by some beginners, or indeed they never get a good understanding of # Rules and some rules which is very basic that has been specified in the FAQ steemit itself

The very worthy awards they get are by constantly learning and giving the best in this Media without having to always expect the Voice to come for them, in this case The most easy logic to be equally understood is, It takes more than a hard work as well as a Consistent attitude in every deed to produce a Content so that each Reward will come by its own without being expected

Remember; Consistent and Flexible in delivering Content

life is a choice, and all of us want to attain the highest and best achievement in life, yet all these things we have to live with in various ways to choose which way we go, what you say is something that gives me the view that effort must be more bigger than the dream we want to achieve, the freedom of pinansial still remains a fundamental thing to make it real, and the determination of the choice of life must be we can make sure even though it is difficult for me.

thanks for the article, I still have to contemplate on many things, I was started many things too, to achieve financial freedom, but still wasn't really successful

We don’t always know what life / the universe may have in store that is far better than what we might choose for ourselves, based in our limited awareness.
We never know what opportunities and blessings we might end up cutting ourselves off from, were we to so fervently think we know what is best for us.
And of course, there’s always the bit: what we think we want might actually end up being very different than we imagined it as.... @rok-sivante

Up voted , thanx for the knowledge ,

Up vote back if you like what u see.

Bro .

Ja bless

I never vote because people ask/want.

Such an approach pretty much guarantees I won’t.

Well , you don't have to vote if you don't like what you see , you high reputation , steemers , forget how you started ..

Good luck , bye.

nope, didn't forget.

started writing for the sake of it with no expectations, motivations of creating value. not begging for attention and votes.

and it's been an absolute pleasure supporting others I've come across walking that same path, inspiring by the example they set of showing up to engage in substance-rich conversations without selfish intentions - some of who've been on my autovoter list for months and the rewards from which have replaced their monthly incomes as a consequence of their leading exceptionally with great content and conduct.

Well brother , for us the new people to steem , is very difficult to get any attention , I am writing my own staff , had a sushi restaurant in Israel , and yes I was a little rude , but other wise how would I get any attention , came here from fb, my friend convince me to start writing in this blog , my biggest fb post got 45,000 likes , but here I'm new , i am creating value , and showing this platform to new people.
Because , I really like the idea.

Anyways sorry again for being rude, but you should read something I write , maybe you will be surprised.

Amazing day bro.

No need for “sorry.”

I get the dilemma for newbies wanting to make it. And now, you’ve got a clearer ideas of what may and may not work here... ;-)

Actually I was reading what you wrote all of it ,and my up vote was because , I like your post and way of typing .what you did in Bali for 5 years ,
I was in India , parvatti valley , Kasol .

The source of charash , what you wrote about , able to make it in steem ,actually I start to see it coming , till then , I'm working in economic system of slavery , like all of us , good day brother , what type of music , trance?

No idea how to label/categorize, every project different and kind of a unique fusion of styles that’s tough to lump into a single one...

https://dsound.audio/#!/@rok-sivante

does this have anything to do with steem prices down? but you have explained it while making the spirit come back again. thanks @rok-sivante

Uh... I don’t see nor understand the connection you may be attempting make...

Honest comments is the way to better communication with the author. Prepare yourself for opportunities, that is the way to success on this platform